aussie - yes or no.

i sang "beautiful Lord, wonderful Saviour... i know for sure, all of my days are held in Your hands, crafted into Your perfect plan..."... beautiful lyrics, beautiful melody and beautiful harmony makes a beautiful song... my God is the one who makes all things perfect and good... all for His glory...

that's where i realise the songs i play aren't from me. they're from God. i wasn't the one playing well. it was His work in me... now i know, why it is that when friends ask me to teach, i just can't teach...

'study hard... good future...'... why should i? when everything else burns away, my soul will ache because i didn't live my dream... found out it was possible to go to australia for just one semester... which will be about 4 months plus... how about piano? if i do honours - what about piano? the people around me say 'its okay, u're not really letting go anyway; its just for awhile'... they think i can come back and continue pursuing my diploma...

look at me now. i prac 2 hours a week. i used to prac 2 hours BEFORE and AFTER lunch... where's my passion gone? i used to be really energised and real happy about practice... now its purely energy-draining and time-consuming... homework never was in my priorities - it was piano... now, i'd give ANYTHING to have time for the LOAD of compulsory yet useless school work which i absolutely loathe... haix. not loathe. but compared to piano, yes, loathe...

i should stop.

dear miss chew [ex-hihs teacher]... thank you for that simple yet inspiring message u shared with me... and thanks to your friend, Terence, for his wonderfully inspiring words that was in the cd he gave me for free... 'Dream a dream... and make it real... Whatever your dreams may be, make a choice, act on it, and never give up!'...

i couldn't make the choice. i can't act upon it. maybe i have to give up...

Lord, my soul cries out to You... every second i spend studying in school is an opportunity cost... every moment i miss my piano is a heartache... every time my fingers play in the air i lose my focus... i have no energy... but Lord, You are my only strength...

convince me. den i will give it up.