throat woes

shit. walked from church in the afternoon today, and from hougang back home.

dry, scorching hot.

now, throat pain. cough.

shit myself.

tmr work. =/

aftermath

i'm back. he threw away pretty much. spilled some vulgarities. made everybody unhappy.

God, i'm a Christian and i know You hear me for it is in Your Promise that You will always hear Your children's prayers. ever since my dad left his former job and started his own business, he spends very little and complains when we spend money. he downgrades himself verbally and he goes so hard on himself as if it's a bold thing to do. i knows my father believes in You. and for this reason, God i ask that You enter my father's life today, and let him follow a Christian life too; one that is faithful, righteous, loving, patient and one that is the most fulfilling walk of his life - a walk with You. i know i cannot control my father nor the way he thinks, but i hope that by being patient, respectful and obedient, You will work a wonder and fill my father's life. in Jesus' Name i pray, Amen.

now dad's pretty much okay. he showed me a red mark on his protruding tummy - from the hot iron just now. haix. i'm sad, and i'm crying and trying so hard to hide my tears. it's been a long time since i've been as upset as this. not upset, maybe more of sad. in a way disappointed that my father still behaves this way. but i know things will change.

"when the oceans rise and thunders roar, i will soar with You above the storm; Father You are King above the storm, i will be still and know You are God..." Still, by Hillsong.

Holy Spirit, give my comfort for now, and strength for tomorrow.

got abit of a throat irritation. haix. i shall go cheer myself up. work tomorrow. yay... =/... haix.

cheer up alli. come on. huggies to myself. =] yay. okay. i'm great now... =]

gtg. Au Revoir!!! =]

i hate today

TODAY:

breakfast: McDonalds.

church: had Lord's Supper today. good sermon. =]

went home, went gramma's house, had lunch, den went to clean things up since she's arriving back late tonight from china. i magic-clean and mopped the floor.

home. dad's back from golf. he went was ironing. i went to bathe, he went downstairs. came up and got around to mop the floor, i got out of bathroom. went online. dad started his temper again. tempers or not, i don't know. whether he intended to hurt us or not, i don't think i wanna answer. he shouted and slammed the door. now he's gonna fucking throw my stuff away.

i gtg,

pictures of when we went k-box, 25 april 2008:










































=] gtg. Au Revoir! huggies world...

my thurs at k-box

hello world...

TODAY: k-box with sihui the merlion and bei the squirrel: apparently this was a last min plan... [supposed to go running this morning with sihui, but when she reached my place about 9 it started to rain, and she had flu+cough and i had flu, hence we just sat in my room and chatted about future, if we don't go uni, can we afford a flat on our own and what to do with the masterbed room, har so random; sihui HAHAHA had to change her plans twice with adeline, so that in the end she could go K-box with me and squirrel since squirrel hasn't been before. felt so bad but what lar, she herself oso wanna go ma. so bathed at my place - she took like 40 minutes in the toilet man - afterwhich i bathed and we went to meet bei at hougang mall at about 1245. we ate at the food court - took pictures, lame ones, on my phone - and went downstairs to get drinks. met m-gomez and larissa at ntuc, and they freaking bor-hiu me. i was so freaking angry that i can't be bothered to be angry later on; they're teaching at HIHS and i answered that we were in SRJC and we applied for all 4 universities, and i was that LOOK on larissa's face and gomez's too. like pls man, sorry we're not smart but at least we got character and values. anyway we bought 3 bottles of mineral water for $0.80 - so cheap man - and bei bought green tea and some dog food, i went to get a Pearlie =). den we went toilet, finished one bottle of water first to lighten the weight, put the other 2 bottles in our bags, and off we went.] we walked to plaza, up and to k-box. we got there about 2. sang. bei sang not bad eh. too bad man, i was waiting to be impressed by a super celine-dion kinda voice, the strong and bold kind. hahaha. but well, expected lar, she's so gentle. [hm, i felt that there some kinds of occassional awkward silences or somethin' but, well, maybe the 2 of them have yet to bond.] soon after singing, merlion's voice started to sar3 [get husky] already [sexy huh, husky, hahaha.] and she had to sing in her funny and hilarious way. bei couldn't stop laughing. =) mad people. apparently she even ate SO MUCH chips and she said she felt better after that [i was like -.- wth. hahaha] and she can still try to sing. bei started off abit shy [dunno real or not, that violent woman, i mean animal] haha, sing so soft [and yet when she shout at me shout so loud, idiot] and demure; i think she needs her mike plugged in to an amplifier. HAHAHA. soon, sihui went mad; she saw her shuai-ge; apparently for some unknown reason she had an instinct he had quit, and she was high and as good as drunk. harhar. paid, left at 8 plus. went to mac [met couzin jasmine, and so surprisingly even to merlion jasmine remembers merlion from primary school], ate ice-cream [which sadly is my dinner] and den went home.

got scolded for not saying anything about phone prob - apparently sometimes, i mean SOMETIMES, i can't receive msgs from a particular person or at all. whatever. i went to bathe, and now, i'm online. =) to convert my Hillson cd to transfer them files to my phone. o man, i PRAY so hard i can sing like them =). yay. i shall do my best, and this i ask in Jesus' name.

yay. okay... i shall go clear my emails...

TMR:

• piano 3.30 to 4.40 @CMS.
• practice piano before and after.
• cell group @ St. Paul Church at 7.30 till 9++.
• pls return library books allison, the one with pictures of FANTASTIC cakes and one on Elle designer homes.

shall post pictures next time. gtg. byby. =] Au Revoir!!!

23.4.08 home alone

hello everybody... =]

YESTERDAY: out with alicia the baboon and sibei the squirrel: harhar, we went to this japanese restaurant to eat, buffet, like with conveyor belt and off-menu dishes all in the buffet set... WA... super fantastico marvelouso de nice to eat [wth is wrong with my english] man!!! =]

above: our table of craving-fulfillers... HAR HAR HAR...

above: shiok sia... that's baboon's hand...

above: FOOOOOOOOD man... harhar...

above: this is that bacon-mushroom thing that alicia ordered 18 pieces of... -.-

above: L to R: alicia's sprite, bei's watermelon juice, my f&n grapes.

we practically ate and ate, and that stupid baboon go order some 6 pieces of that stupid bacon-mushroom thingy and it came in 6 STICKS instead, and i ate a total of 10... -.- yeah man... see my tummy bloat man... har har... den we went vivo to shop!!!!!!... went into forever 21, den topshop, den mango... i bought a S$43 dress from F21, alicia bought a black tube top from F21, bei bought a black razor back from MNG... harhar, i'm still thinking if i wanna buy that MNG top too, cos i like the colour and etc, but i was thinking don't wanna buy it cos of the brand or just cos i like MNG etc... [and besides i already spent 43 bucks man... hm, still thinking - if only i can spend my pay...] den we went candy empire before we went home... and sihui called me and kept apologising for calling [i was like, dots...] and asked about her swim suit thingy... alicia bought some biscuits and the Cadbury chocolate milk... =] the milk tastes superb sia... i'm so gonna buy it soon. =]



hm... yesterday after vivo came back and had dinner still... harhar... i'm such a pig... anyway mum cooked something like pork [or was it chicken, i dunno lar...] and it smelt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO delicious and tasted SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good... hua... good man... real good... =] wa ha ha...





THE REST OF THE WEEK:

• practice piano.


• study bible.


• pack my room.


• excercise with sihui on thurs.


• sunday go church!!! =] yay.


• prepare for work on mon-tues-wed.

NOW/TODAY: i'm eating ba-zhang... =] dad bought 2 for me before he went for golf today... later i'm going to bossini 803 again to pei weicai and xieli eat lunch... after which i go down to Cristofori MSFA [hougang] to practice... =]

hmmm... i just read bei's blog... HAR HAR... idiot... light as a feather... hahaha... and she's so skinny already, still wish to slim down, siao... ME? i wish to put on weight... =] harhar...

o ya, i'm going for Hillsong concert in may!!! YES YES YES... yay... thanks Sheena for inviting me... =]

okay... byby... =] Au Revoir... [p.s. i love lumpy and tigger =]... i just gave brother tigger a wash with sis, laugh like hell in the toilet, hahaha... brother's dry already!!! yay. ]

that guy

now he talks to me... he suddenly talked to me online... freak...

said that he hoped and wished i'm alright... like wth lar, as if... and he said sorry for disappearing, had my reasons too... RIGHT man...

i asked may i know why you disappeared, he said he can't tell... asked how's his dad, he said bad, but won't tell why.

i asked if we're over, he say dunno. i say hahaha, maybe we should just be friends. and you said great, guess you found someone else too. i said i found this great God...

and chatted and you tried to chio bei... right man... u grow like a bean stalk oso no use. hahaha...

LOOK man... i've moved on man...

aiya. friends first lar... wth... i can't be bothered...

tired thursday

today: woke up at 10 (must have dreamt of my shuai ge, thought of him when i woke up, har har), washed up, went to compass (supposed to meet huda at 1245) to walk around first, put my bag at bossini 803, went with Xieli to "rob the bank" (she shared with me that her fang-dong and fang-dong-tai-tai quarreled and problems etc, we came back with a huge bag of coins, weicai was complaining, hahah), walk around metro (i SO am gonna buy that top. har har), went to interchange to find huda ( HUA her hair so diff lar. and she look so lady-lady, hahaha, but she still walk abit like a guy), went to BK to eat (chatted, her issues, she registered for private As but if no need can get refund, asshole, talk about results and her teaching, etc and about if we cannot get into uni - O MAN that sucks =( - and about ex-college-mates), go popular (huda searches for malay assesment book, paid for the book and got discount with my popular card), went downstiars atrium to look at metro sales of bags and shoes (that stupid woman, search and look around and so super picky about bags' size and whether they suit her, i almost died on the spot), went DMK to look around, i went back bossini take my bag from store, we went off, i went to Cristofori, had lesson at 3.30 den prac till almost 6, walked home, dad quarreling with mum and somethin' about what sis' and mum said about his fetching them or not etc, i didn't intrude, i took off my eyes (i meant my contact lenses) and went to read Time mag, had dinner (dad cooked his fish soup with chapalang prawn and fishballs and meatballs and veg and whatever, super nice, thanks dad =) harhar).

highlight: @ Cristofori today: went into room 5 (my teacher's room, which is my lesson venue, where the piano has such piercing sound and is so horribly in tune i can't stand it) to practice first, mr wong came at about 2.50, so i went into room 4 (beside the toilet, where the piano is MUCH more mellow, sounds more boing-y and is my fav classroom =] har har) and practiced (just too bad no metrenome and so idiotic practicing without one) till lesson time, had lesson... didn't prac much this week, fingers were weak and wobbling all over the ivory keys and i was like SO paiseh, freak, and my scales were horrible - 6th apart, 3rd apart, dominant seventh chords, diniminshed seventh chords, chromatic third apart - o man... can see mr wong face change, haix, after lesson he reminded me internal exam in june... ARRG =[ God help me, o man... haix... allison allison, come on, at least 5 hours a day... you gotta be disciplined...

reflections:

when i heard dad quarreling with mum: hm, somehow since JC i've slowly become quiet, and i rarely dispute their viewpoints nor speak of being cruelly realistic, i've complained less and done things as best as i can on my part... however, it still does bother me, though much lesser relative to the past, when they quarrel over such mundane matters that can be easily solved if they actually put in effort to listen closely and not try to be defensive when there's no need to... well, all that matters is that they still love each other... =]

at piano practice, alone in room 4, after lesson: practiced like as if "hell broke lose" and i banged the piano like anything, only after 15 minutes of Allegro did i realise that my last and fourth finger on my right hand were PAIN and throbbing and almost bleeding. shit... i put plaster on the fourth, den took it off and replaced it on the last, den decided put it on my feet since i got blister, otherwise i think the plaster 'd just ERODE due to abrasion... oops, i meant, weather off. haix, sad and upset that i can't seem to being out my best during lesson... i wanted to cry already, nearing 5.30, cos my finger really hurt and i bloody hell cannot reach the notes in the Fugue, and i got a GRADE 8 exam and no such pianist of my level will say she can't reach the note, and yet i just have to admit to that humiliating fact. haix, i'm sorry, maybe it ain't humiliating, but it's not exactly motivating knowing that you can't reach the notes that you HAVE to TO DO WELL. distinction distinction distinction ah allison... =/

walking home: thought of the times that a special someone to me (then) walked with me down that road... the time he stood there and refused to budge till i sang a note for him and i stormed off angry and didn't bother till he just had to give up and go home... those were the times i thought, why was it so difficult for me to do something for someone i love, why was i still so shy... he had patience in me, he never gave up, had faith in me... but now, thinking back, maybe it's just THEN that he loved me... feelings fade i guess, especially when, for him, he's got tonnes of girls who like him... then again, maybe it's just his own idea that they liked him... or rather, for that matter, it doesn't bother me at all, for i know that regardless of all these, we had a good relationship that just ended badly that's all... ... i have loads to be thankful for... look at the churches near my house, the places around, the waffle antie that is so nice and friendly, i can walk the paths home knowing i'm safe and there won't be anything like a bomb blast. what more can i ask for, i've got an awesome family tree, i've got a heart-load of lovely friends, i've got all that i need, i eat enough, i drink enough, i have MUSIC in my life and i have God!!! i am thankful, dear God, i am...

=] well... i shall end here. i just transfered some yanni songs into my phone... =]. gonna see to that my sis' PW-PI is printed out later... i'll go bathe, den come out and have Quiet-time with GOD the almighty, =]...

and dear God, from the bottom of my heart, thank You for the love and grace showered upon me... thank You Holy Spirit for giving me comfort, ALOT of it, when i was in benign denial of the fact that him and i were over. thank You God for showing me that Jesus Christ loves me and has sacrificed His life for me, a sinner, and thank You Father for loving me so unconditionally... =]...

Au Revoir!!! =]

tuesday at home

hello to the world... =] it's 1613... abit bored at home... i played piano just now, had lunch, looked through IKEA 2008 for some stuff... now i'm online...

i accepted Christ on the 6th april 2008. =] so happy about it... i'm finally a Christian!!! yay... =]

hm... sheena brought me to church that day, met some people, 2 from holy high, and a few who play basketball... har har...

omg lar... my mum forced me to choose undies and i had no choice for that pink one. my sis said it's not exactly pink lar, but it looks pink to me lar, but whatever... it's to be worn inside anyway... doesn't matter. har har...

went out with bei and sihui yesterday, watch Flood. quite cool lar. hm. =]

anyway, first post, so summary: hm, just broke up with my bf, the first KNOWN-to-my-parents relationship, too bad lar, they say he sucked and prob cheated on me AGAIN. anyway friends are all i could ask for... i am finally allowed to go church... yay... trying to learn French on my own... hm. i'm taking ABRSM grade 8 piano soon... aiming for distinction. =] i will study the bible daily, and my Yee Jiong is my mentor... of course plus my ah yee, my family, and the most important, God the Holy Spirit... =]

i shall go clear my mail... =] Au Revoir.