Daddy

Dear God, do You love me? I feel sad, do You know about it? I'm so sick i feel like drowning myself. How?

Dear Tigger... say 'i love you'! =] heeheee. i have a new brother!!! he has the same birthday as my sister! yay. =] brother Tigger!!! =] muakx!

=D monday of term break

met superman on the train... =] *ah ha, lucky i didn't go towards the wrong side... heh*

went to bugis... watch movie on my laptop... ate 'breakfast'... heh... i was still hungry... so we went to buy movie tickets... den went for buffet... BUFFET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROAR!!! harhar. =D

but i ate very little today... he kept saying i'll get hungry again soon... tsk. sarcastic. den went up to sit on the floor to wait for movie...

went to buy donuts... bought 12!!! warhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh =D heehee...

den watched The Proposal. yay!!! so nice... =]

blarh blarh... he sent me home... and i won cos i said that 153 would come first. HARHAR. =] yay.

o and i broke a record today... i had 7 series of hiccups... -.- i'm a monster... i'm a hiccupster!!! harhar i'm so funny. hah. =] okay. i shall go and call superman to pray. =D

sick

of things i wait for.

of trying so hard for nothing.

of things i do that get me hurt for nothing.

of being sick of thing.

of trying to care.

reading

eyes read... brain interprets... when interpreting is inaccurate, blame the brain. don't blame the source that you read.

eyes see... brain understands... when understanding is incomplete, blame your brain. don't blame the person you try to read.

*you've not changed one bit... 10 years... same old you... selling your fakeness as your true self... proud of it?

Father, I am so confused. Revive me, please?

eyes

eyes... they see... they give signals... they show emotions... most of all, they read things...

need to go to the optician soon...

Father, why do i try so hard? am i pleasing You?

thank you sibei =]

went for dinner at Subway with Bei... den walked around hougang mall... bought stuff. =] thanks for helping me see the shoe i wanted...

when i double triple quadruple confirm i'll use it, then i'll buy it. =D

mooakx sibei!!! i enjoyed... although i felt like i could die hearing her describe her life thus far... HAHA. =]

i want i WANT i WWAANNTT!!!!!!

i want a michael jackson full collection...

=(

=((

=(((

i waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt...

recollection

- REMOVED -

*for my best friends to know... =]*

when i knelt before You, Lord, You gave me comfort, You embraced me, You hugged me... You took my sufferings, my pain, all the shame, my guilt and my 'dirtiness' and You put them on the cross. i felt love... i have a new life... with You... my loving Father, the lover of my soul... my Almighty God... thank You... =]

breakfast

woke up feeling that i don't wanna wake up... went to watch tv so i can steal the phone later yet not arouse suspicion... haha...

i just finished my mission... hopefully God will provide. =]

i'm listening to mariah carey songs now... yay. =] pretty girl's voice. =D

i'm eating bread... -.- bread that smells like fish food.

o and i'm fishing on facebook for deardear. =D

okay. i MUST study today. HARAHR. =]

God, please help me be disciplined and to love doing work as You do. help me be efficient and help me do things SOOOOOO quickly. =] Amen.

*ear-to-ear smile*

=] yay... just had a great talk with dear dear over the phone... he's having a great time in the course... hm. tmr i've got a mission - to save his phone line. HARHAR.

and i totally gotta study tmr. go alli. don't keep reading the bible too much...

dear told me to read just before i'm hungry... and that'll stop me from reading for too long. so bad. tsk. but actually hunger doesn't stop me from reading. i can read for 6 hours straight. HARHAR.

mooakx to my bible. =]

muakx to my dear dear. =] his phone died. so i'm going to sleep now. yeah. =]

tmr also gotta help him do his fishing... =D

thank You God for such a wonderful man. =] love You.

oh dear...

what's the difference between anger and concern... love maybe?

what's the difference when someone accuses and when someone states the truths?

what's the difference between me and you... submission?

what's the difference between girls and boys... character?

what's the difference between a question and an answer... one introduces an unknown and the other is the known unknown...

which do you have?

not studying... i'm home... i'm way distracted... what can i do? tell me... wanted to go to church today... but guess plans didn't work out... lost track of time trying to search for scores...

doing work at home always leads me to downloading scores and scores and more scores...

i've not started on sight-reading them yet... but i'm always happy when i see scores. =] they smell like adventure...

come to think of it... i may not do my music diploma anymore... i'm not doing anything about it... i'm not thinking about it until i'm reminded i loved it and was passionate... then again, maybe past tenses should be left with past tense...

i like thinking... but i hate studying... i feel that it freezes and nullifies my brain's creativity... everything is fixed. a question has a fixed answer...

1 + 1 = 2

should u listen to your parents? yes.

will you marry me? yes...

is life always like this? then there was another extreme... there goes the give me a second chance... let me prove myself... give me time to change... give me a last chance... one more time please... i'm sorry and i realise, please give me one last chance or i'll commit suicide...

there's no security there... no security here... no where else is secure... except in God.

security is the difference between a relationship with a man, and one with God.

this is the new lesson that i've learnt in my Christian life...

friend

SIBEI i miss u!!! =]

thanks for talking with me. =D

love ya squirrel.

and also

i work with people who give one answer to 5 questions.

dumbass, so to speak.

don't u just love them, alli?

when versus never

since when is it that 'when i have time' becomes EQUAL to 'never'.

when you tell me, that is.

my life is like 'no promisses' and 'no guarantee even though i say so'.

so i go after things that are not secure... day in day out... why? even some things in church are like that. i get bored after awhile...

i'm in a 'last-minute' world.

thank God that He's not like that. God does planning way ahead. i LOVE the way God works. =] if only people DO try to be like Him, that'd be wonderful.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

hungry hungry

*stomp*stomp*stomp*

very very

*stomp*stomp*stomp*

=] =] =]

i have a funny future hubbie...

he's singing weird melodies in my ear over the phone now... kiddie...HARHAR... =] the 'in the hall of the mountain king' melody... and he just said he's smart... i'm like *raises one eyebrow*...

now he's doing an up key... and he's whining and singing weird songs... he just asked me if i'm hungry... 'yep' i said... 'i am too' said he... HAHA...

*muakx* =] love u SUPERMAN who wants to keep super long hair - though i dunno true or not...

now he's singing 'itchy and scratchy and very very dirty'... HARHAR... cute... '1,2,3,4,5, once i caught a fish alive... 6,7,8,9,10, den i let i let it go again'... HAHA he sounds so cute...

huh?

'love you to bits'...

dear dear msg me this... what's that supposed to mean? HAHA...

why 'to bits'? weird expression... -.-

can't u just say like 'love you to cubes' or 'love you to crumbs' or 'love you to biscuits' or 'love you to milk cartons' or maybe 'love you to Tigger'...

i'm hungry. very very hungry... *looks up to the sky* how i wish a lump of bread will just drop in front of me...

=] study study study...

used to be

expectations... desires... fairy tale dreams...

sometimes in real life, it appears as though 'happily ever after' has come... until you slowly see the surface faded and the inner beauty and brokenness exposed...

whatever happened to the un-changing and unconditional love... =] this is from God. Amen. thank God there's a love that never changes... thank God that i have a Him who is the Lover of my soul... Love u, Jesus!

my problem or yours - not both

you either don't know you're soft, don't bother speaking clearly or just plain darn loud.

-.- can't be bothered. i don't want to have expectations of anything - now, tomorrow nor in future.

what is beautiful?

is pretty beautiful? how about sweet?

I like to look at pretty girls... I wonder why... I know some people whom are really pretty and sweet... but their character seems to prove otherwise pretty often.

am I judging them? what has beauty become now? just outer appearance? whatever happened to inner beauty? or rather character? whatever happened to moral values?

would anyone compromise on values just to be beautiful on the outside?


I'm losing touch with my piano... maybe I'm becoming lazy? did I lose my heart for it? is my identity in music? no - it's with Christ. Amen.

what's next, Father? =]