sitting

butt on the stool... fingers on ivory keys... eyes closed... heart silenced...

mind: blank...

how a small moment can be so terrifying... its like waking up and realising you can't see... or realising you became deaf... one part of you disappeared in a matter of a few days...

as a result of? i dunno... stress? fatigue?

or maybe the flame just burned out. no more fuel to keep the fire going...

maybe it ain't burned out. perhaps a small fire left...


in chemistry terms... i need a catalyst... there are 5 factors to increase rate of reaction... catalyst, concentration, particle size, pressure and temperature... =] sec 4 work =] i'm so smart...

confession... almost cheated that day for prac set... but thank God that i didn't.

yesterday... hm... some disappointing moments... disappointing? maybe upseting, instead... or just sad? or tired... nah. how can i be tired of him... nope. hm... but yeah, he's right... ... ... eh, i'm going round and round... okay. my point is. i gotta open up. i think i kept silent for 20 years and still can't get used to talking... thinking about it, yeah, ever since sunshine+superman i've not sang for him one bit... so sad... how can it be so difficult to share your favorite things with someone u love so much... why...

i'm sorry dear dear...


i'm tired... o yeah. i'm tired. tired of myself... yeah. i'm boring. i'm D_E_A_D boring.

i: study; play piano sometimes; sleep less nowadays; do work all the time; absorb fast but rarely have time to do so; perhaps have bad time management; still working on anger management...

can't even manage my own life and i'm studying business and majoring in marketing and management... how ironic. i'm a dumbass...

Ooo yeah =] i have the Tigger song... hehehe. so cute lar... thanks to PenguinRanger who sent it to me =] MOOOOOOOakx. have a pleasant and safe trip!!! =]

hm... stayed up till about 2 last night to do stuff for dear dear... woke up at 9 to edit and touch up... i'm gonna sleep now... yeah again. but come'on i barely slept enough for the week.

goodnight. =]

o yeah... dear God. thank You for bringing me through all difficulties this week - Your grace is really enough. i love You. Amen. =]

bye!!! =] moo.