you should know this

i hate last minute things.

Monssy to Monster

A 2-year journey of love and craziness, an anniversary we both forgot...

just wanna say - i love you. =]

AHHHHHHHH iLIKE~!!!

http://www.kvoll-fashion.com/product_details.php?category_id=58&item_id=3684

i want!!! :(

China Tigger

Dear dear said Tigger's chinese name is 'tiao4 tiao4 hu3'...

Allison Koh's version: TOING TOING HU...

HARHAR :D

true love isn't all about saying 'i love you'

*food for thought*

MUCUS flowing from on high... flu again... sinus again...

dear ... and ...

should i stop loving you both...

bug & ju - the neh family

=] soul sisters... gina and julia... u gals are awesome... we've changed, but i love u 2 still!!! =]

it 's been so long... individually, we all change... i think friendships that are good are like puzzle pieces that adapt and change but still fit one another... the picture created changes over time, just as the individual pieces change and get modified... but one thing's for sure - the pieces are like glued together... stuck for life... friends, to me, are like the people you love and yet don't marry...

HARHAR. =] *i love laughing*

turn, new road

gone were the days we see each other week after week, meeting after meeting... no more gossiping... those once against each other have become surprisingly great friends...

=] UoN 308... keep in touch... =] it was an honour and blessing to know all of you... =]

to be consumed

ARHHH this is so cute =D

Your wife is not:...

to be consumed

http://www.ronedmondson.com/2009/03/winning-back-the-heart-of-your-wife.html

saw this; interesting; opinions opinions opinions...

looking at NOT the girl, NOT the dresses... hmmm... http://sevendresses.livejournal.com/

interesting heh.

Quote: Klassen & Freling 2000

You alone stand above the earth, but You have chosen willingly to also stand beside me.

stress

i still feel the stress of being alive, despite the end of my exams officially...

i gotta get my groove back for piano and music, i gotta go get a job, i gotta go earn money, i gotta go see a doctor to make me pretty and perfect looking, i gotta go to the dentist, i gotta clean my room, i gotta prepare to start my term in January for a Tourism module, i gotta earn money, i gotta prove to my parents, i gotta prepare for my future (or yours?), i gotta save money to get married, i gotta plan my career, i gotta improve my qualifications, i gotta save money for my family, i gotta... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... all the things i gotta do, they are what people say i should do... i've been doing what people tell me to do my WHOLE LIFE...

WHEN can i SIT DOWN and NOT DO ANYTHING?

yeah, "NEVER" 's the word.

all the talk about 'o, after university you're free to relax and explore the world' and 'getting to experience new stuff and see cool things alone' and crap... i don't buy it - i got conned.

i think stress does not come from the things i do, it comes when i do them for other people.

*stab*

breathe, then read.

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=407640990562&id=743662869

what does anyone think of this?

keep moving forward, says Cornelius Robinson (the cartoon guy, not the criminal)

Allison Koh, you will be better. you were great, now u suck, but you will be better.

YOU WILL BE BETTER.

my cute earthly father who FARTED an explosion while we were in the lift -.-

when asked what he would name his dog if he had one, 'Doggie' was his triumphant reply.

my mum, sis and myself were flabbergasted and amazed at dad's lame wow-ness.

=] thank You, God for family - even if these times were sparse, precious memories they will be...

*waves FRANTICALLY in the AIRRRRRRRRRRR*

arrrrrRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH aaaAAAAAAhhhHHH

WaTeR in my EARS!!!!!!

a TEAM

is defined as 'a small number of people with complementary skills who are committed to a common purpose, set of performance goals, and approach, for which they hold themselves accountable' (Katzenbach & Smith 1993)

The Brewing of Soma by John Greenleaf Whittier

"These libations mixed with milk have been prepared for Indra:
offer Soma to the drinker of Soma."
--Vashista, translated by MAX MULLER.

The fagots blazed, the caldron's smoke
Up through the green wood curled;
"Bring honey from the hollow oak,
Bring milky sap," the brewers spoke,
In the childhood of the world.

And brewed they well or brewed they ill,
The priests thrust in their rods,
First tasted, and then drank their fill,
And shouted, with one voice and will,
"Behold the drink of gods!"

They drank, and to! in heart and brain
A new, glad life began;
The gray of hair grew young again,
The sick man laughed away his pain,
The cripple leaped and ran.

"Drink, mortals, what the gods have sent,
Forget your long annoy."
So sang the priests. From tent to tent
The Soma's sacred madness went,
A storm of drunken joy.

Then knew each rapt inebriate
A winged and glorious birth,
Soared upward, with strange joy elate,
Beat, with dazed head, Varuna's gate,
And, sobered, sank to earth.

The land with Soma's praises rang;
On Gihon's banks of shade
Its hymns the dusky maidens sang;
In joy of life or mortal pang
All men to Soma prayed.

The morning twilight of the race
Sends down these matin psalms;
And still with wondering eyes we trace
The simple prayers to Soma's grace,
That Vedic verse embalms.

As in that child-world's early year,
Each after age has striven
By music, incense, vigils drear,
And trance, to bring the skies more near,
Or lift men up to heaven!

Some fever of the blood and brain,
Some self-exalting spell,
The scourger's keen delight of pain,
The Dervish dance, the Orphic strain,
The wild-haired Bacchant's yell,--

The desert's hair-grown hermit sunk
The saner brute below;
The naked Santon, hashish-drunk,
The cloister madness of the monk,
The fakir's torture-show!

And yet the past comes round again,
And new doth old fulfil;
In sensual transports wild as vain
We brew in many a Christian fane
The heathen Soma still!

Dear Lord and Father of mankind,
Forgive our foolish ways!
Reclothe us in our rightful mind,
In purer lives Thy service find,
In deeper reverence, praise.

In simple trust like theirs who heard
Beside the Syrian sea
The gracious calling of the Lord,
Let us, like them, without a word,
Rise up and follow Thee.

O Sabbath rest by Galilee!
O calm of hills above,
Where Jesus knelt to share with Thee
The silence of eternity
Interpreted by love!

With that deep hush subduing all
Our words and works that drown
The tender whisper of Thy call,
As noiseless let Thy blessing fall
As fell Thy manna down.

Drop Thy still dews of quietness,
Till all our strivings cease;
Take from our souls the strain and stress,
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of Thy peace.

Breathe through the heats of our desire
Thy coolness and Thy balm;
Let sense be dumb, let flesh retire;
Speak through the earthquake, wind, and fire,
O still, small voice of calm!

1872.

[The end]
John Greenleaf Whittier's poem: Brewing Of Soma

The Intrinsic Motivation Principle of Creativity

Founded by Teresa M. Amabile and her team of associates...

The principle states that 'people will be at their creative best when they feel motivated primarily by the interest, satisfaction, and challenge of the work itself - and not by external pressures'...

how dumb man can be

Quote: The words are from a long narrative poem, “The Brewing of Soma.” It describes Vedic priests going into the forest and drinking them­selves into a stupor with a concoction called “soma.” They try to have a religious experience and contact the spirit world. It is after set­ting that scene that Whittier draws his lesson: “Dear Lord, and Father of mankind, forgive our foolish ways…” This hymn is as relevant today as when it was written. In a modern context, it speaks to the drug culture, and those looking for an “experience” to prove the reality of God.

my future

i look GOOD in business attire...

but, even better, i look AWESOME in concert attire...

=] be proud of me, daddy mummy?

=/

=(

hungry

Dear God, i think You made too large a stomach for me... I'm human - not from Monster's Inc.

How now - i eat like no tomorrow everyday...

dear God, i wrote a new song for You today

Since You know my heart, could You have heard it before every note was written? Since You know my heart, could You have already composed it before every phrase was constructed? Since You know my heart, could You have decorated the melody and played with its harmony, and could You have already sung the symphony before the story was written?

You're awesome, God... =]

at the end of the race i see another and yet another

how far must i run to keep away from you? do you want me to face you and tell you to get out? why must you keep appearing in my dreams?

go away - i will not destroy nor waste my life because of what you did to me.

i'm strong...

Ain't I, Father? Was that good enough? I'm gonna get better; right?

22:22

so it really means so much to you...

stools fool

something's wrong with my system...

Monster says enough of cereal...

but i want................................................................ i want Waffles Crisp, Cupcake Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles, Corn Flakes, Honey Stars, and i want many many more!!!

OOOSH - hungry... =D

Study hard, and real hard, Allison Koh...

=] Tiggers cheering for me!!! yay =]

Tigger

Tigger told me to study real hard, den when i come back home tonight i can play with all of them... =D

BARRRRRHARAR. Fluffy is so C_U_T_E!!!

All my Tiggers are SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the kid fell; Jesus picked him up, smiled and walked with him - Jesus never left

music and tinkles, daily, they rise anew; but one man, one soul, one heart to be renewed.

life and death, together or apart; friends, family, loved ones, Tiggers and all, but, one and only, my Jesus, from my side He never parts...

*crazy smile*

*shriek* ahhhhh i like the new clouds in the background =D i'm retarded... my mouth is hungry...

anyway, was reading Our Daily Bread while pooping... share something:

If we march through life pretending to smile while inside we bleed, we dishonor the relationship. - Philip Yancey

btw, Monster, frog meat in chinese is supposed to be sweet chicken (tian-ji)... not field chicken... i win. =] love, Monssy, the smart one...

brain bubble

you really thought i didn't know...

my weird dad

he was asking me and mum about this bird's eating behaviour...

see, there was this frequent visitor every morning at our kitchen window [that faces a blank wall btw]... my dad always sees him [the bird] there... so last night he decided to put bread out on a silver platter [just a stainless steel metal bowl] for the bird...

behold, the bird did not turn up, so my dad was curious and so bewildered... i'm like thinking, he actually look amazed and happy that there's a bird, like, a BIRD, visiting our kitchen every morning...

i gave mum a -.-|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| face... she said, must be 'cos his [my dad's] 2 daughters are always out and back late and sleeping late and he doesn't really get to see us...

-.-|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

o btw, my dad recently bought Levi's jeans... yar, Levi's jeans... its really, the real Levi's... years ago, just a S$5 slipper he say expensive and not worth it... so now he says 'i'm becoming cool now'... HARHARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR [the cue for u to roar with laughter now]... i'm like, i should totally go to church in prom dresses and prance about in a lady-like manner...

you are weird

I think we're different - we have different standards.

I think we're different - when we critically analyse, it seems that I am excessively and overly critical.

I think we're different - just face it; i have higher standards than you, and you and i do not agree.

Say, piano... You can go ahead and think normal playing is enough, i shall and will go ahead to think that only above average and distinction-standards is enough. It's where we set the ceiling - mine's higher than yours. Stop comparing, i do not live in your world, i live on earth, and btw in my world, you're boring.

iLOVE

Nodame, u're SO CUTE!!! i LURVE your ROOM!!! =] hopefully one day i can be like her. =] i don't mind having like near 100 Tiggers and soft toys all around my room... =]

iThink

now i know what audacity looks like.

"effrontery or insolence; shameless boldness"...

look at them

was just looking into Facebook, seeing all my UoN batch mates in the UoN ball... prom thingy... all looking gorgeous and really beautiful and... sometimes, just thinking if the sacrifices i make for the things i love, compared to the friends and potential friends that i've missed out on being with... was it worth it...

today, Pastor Fuji said we're to remember, simply, what would Jesus do? so to me, while going for the ball thingy and all that seemed 'world'-kinda stuff... getting pretty, going out, celebrating, going crazy, etc... but then again, those were friendships dear to me that i guess i have neglected... while they were havin' fun and going all out to be looking their best at the ball, i was in church doing stuff... events, ministry, service...

were they worth it? i guess it'd be too early to compare fruit of friendship in school versus fruit in ministry, but either way, i choose and i chose ministry... i think that's what Jesus would do... yeah i know i could 've had a balanced life with school, family, friends, going out, church... but then again, so could Jesus... but he didn't go out and have fun - he put all he had for us, for me...

eventually, i think my decision was right... because i think i will be storing up treasures in heaven... instead of just pretty memories on earth... =]

just a thought. =]

those men and women, they go together

i have no rest day. i'm tired. i'm Tired TIred TIRed TIREd TIRED. and i'm obligated to cover for my own ass and protect myself from what other people say. and then there's those men and those women, and somehow i'm supposed to do this and that and many other STUPID MEANINGLESS duties just to make sure i'm PROVEN innocent.

i tell u what - i don't give a damn. i'm tired i want to rest i just want to finish my work, all my crazy assignments, get over those exams and sleep a hundred years.

i'm sick of people giving half who tell me i don't give enough. i've stopped this that everything i neglect those people and my piano is so damn rotten now. my fingers don't play music anymore, my voice is not for singing, my life is just 'i'm so busy and tired' and i live to be moulded into someone else's ideal updated version of Allison Koh. PLS u might as well just kill me because my life has lost everything dear to me other than God and u still want more.

i spell

S

T

O

P

that woman and that man

she who is to love me most just said i'm ugly today...

the man who walks with me made my day, regardless of how horrible it was... today.

just thinking

I.AM.GOING.TO.BURST.

I.AM.TIRED.

I'm grateful for the concern, but what i need is rest.

just thinking

dear Tigger dears, i talk to you all most... thank you for soaking up my tears and mucus... thank you for being soft and cuddly even when i'm angry...

thank you for reminding me of...

just thinking

i guess after awhile, a little while longer, and that teeny bit more... those don't really matter anymore, do they?

what does it mean, sitting opposite of you who scrambled for things to do...

i miss conversations.

blar

FYI... i have a yellow Woh-Woh... and i have FLUFFY!!! =]

HEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... =] woh woh is a dog... Fluffy is a large baby Tigger =] arrhhhhhhhhh they are so cute!!! =] i'm gonna have fellowship with them =] heehee... they're not very good at English though... HAHA =] i can tutor them!!! =]

*crazy*

just thinking

if i get back to composing, i will need to bring manuscript paper, foolscap paper, pencil, eraser, highlighters, black pen... and my genius-ness... i will need a suitcase.

-.- classical songs are boring... ya right... they're all i can think of. and i LURVE that complicated song my neighbour was playing!!! i bet it's some new exam piece or somethin'... AWWWW so jealous... i want that too. =] it has pentatonic scales and the SO-NICE feel... =] heeeeeheeeeee...

Dear God, i miss my piano...

blar

i was just lookin' at another blog... seeing people do things for cell... i like. =] then again... takes alot of work...

attended leadership and entrepreneurship lecture that day... had some ideas... but... if things are gonna change, i just think that starting from middle-management will not do... if u wanna start from the TOP, start from the TOP.

AGM was like O.O woah... wonder if they'd have that kinda reaction when they have a meeting in heaven... slashing each other and all... where's the love, man...

i'm bored... hungry... but i'm fat... but i'm really hungry... or no, i just want something in my mouth. =( not good...

BUT I WAS REALLLY HUNGRY!!! :( haix...

i kept losing the zitch-dog/bird/plug game to Monster(2)... grrrrr... i wanna win.

last term already... fridays, mostly free... evenings care group... i gotta sacrifice piano... again... i'm SO not gonna be good enough to teach... i don't like it, but i really cannot meet my own expectations and that SUCKS... where's all my passion and discipline man... ugh. allison... allison... drop the BOMB lar... hurry up... -.-

*hungry* *i'm eating Waffles Crisp* *smiling like an idiot* *turning around in my chair* *neighbour saw me* *i pretended to not have seen that*

-.-

someone said to me

because both can't co-exist, the cold hard outer covering would one day extinguish the fiery passion inside... unless the fire is strong enough...

iAM

iAM a daughther of God the Most High... beloved princess of God my Father... precious Child of the Heavenly King... =] for always...

if and so

if God starts a family through love, what's a family without love...

if and so

Dear daddy and mummy, it hurts sometimes you know... most of the time, actually... you do know, right? If you love, so as you say you do love me, then why do you say such things to me?

quote

from Desiree the Sea-Lion/Walrus... 'because it takes two to whisper quietly'...

if and so

if i need help, so how?

if and so

if people can be selfish in the world, and they can't even go the opposite way for a little while when they're in the house of God... so pitiful a world we live in.

one notch higher

i'm thinking of migrating to Neverland... i want to remain being a kid... and i want to fly like Peter Pan...

why do i have to go to school? why do i need a degree? why do i have to aim to be better than everybody else? why should i have to put up a false front for them to see? why would i want to forsake important for something i don't want? why do i encourage people to say things about me? why do i keep things to myself? why do i think so far?

i won't have to explain myself. i don't like doing things for the sake of doing so. i won't show off my abilities; neither will i show off my areas of stupidity. i don't like rumours. i will not be involved in those. i won't say A and do B. i don't like not practising what i preach.

i just like being me. take it.

iThink

sometimes things wouldn't have to be so bad. we let opportunities slip, we miss the crucial tip, we cry and weep and no good comes to it. sometimes it's not that she didn't say it or ask... sometimes it's about the person on the other end...

some things never have to or should be said again... there may not be the need anyway, or the want...

my outer being

pleasing God, and pleasing man... pleasing the eyes of the One above, and those of the ones around - near and far... bowing to the Most High, and bowing to those around like a servant...

since when was pleasing man that necessary...

my self will never be the same... one with my outer being, but separate and individual... she will be one individual many others will never meet... only my outer self would have met her and will see her...

a veil, new clothes, gloves, and shoes... mark my words, both nouns and some specific verbs... many new ways, one, still, being; many different circumstances, in one same lifetime...

i write

i write letters to myself... i leave small little messages around to make myself happy... i give myself flowers here and there... =]

her story was sad

i don't believe that only Jesus can be a friend... i don't believe that only God's footprints can be seen alongside... i just think that human's footprints tend to be lagging behind or way in front or even going another direction - never beside...

if only humans try more to be like Jesus.

M is a no-no

things will change... and i guess i won't have a choice to it.

fear factor

dear dear asked me...

3 choose 1... all equal meal portion.

1. bugs (madagascar hissing cockroaches - known to be very juicy) covered in chocolate
2. abalone in extreme spice sauce (ma-lar-huo-guo kind of spicy)
3. durian (extremely pungent good stuff)

-.-|||

he wanted to change the first one to 'chocolate ants in ice cream'... i said no way - it was alive!!!

and he says alot of thing i eat used to be alive too. -.-

he's still stuck on the idea of wrapping my present in a durian shell... T.T for crying out loud...

my answer shall be revealed at a later date and time. =D

Jesus, thank You

Lord, You make all the tears and pain worthwhile... =] stay with me please.

Joanna is mad?

i'm talking to Joanna NOW. this instant.

she told me i must accept the fact that she's crazy. i'm like -.-...

i told her 'yar! accepted it and dealing with it!'.

and Joanna laughs like crazy again.

ya - again.

hate is a strong word

he comes home drunk friday nights. he's funny and witty at times. he's hardworking and loyal to the home unit. he loses his temper out of the blue in light of pent-up anger. he curses and swears. he shouts and is vulgar to his wife and children. yet he is the man whom i call 'daddy'. he does majority of the housework. he is always there for my sister. he tells the best jokes on earth in the funniest ways. he protects me in his own way. he loves my mother despite the quarrels and arguments. he loves my sister and sees good in her beneath all the disrespect and rudeness he gets in return.

she works darn hard for the family, for herself, for money and reputation. she is the most well-spoken person at home and she writes fluently. she is patient, loving, adoring and anything nice - only when she deems fit, as and when she likes. she is financially capable and independent. she quarrels with her husband often and will not admit defeat in an argument. she might keep silent and look dismayed, but she will think no wrong of herself. she contradicts herself but her arguments are often proven valid by herself. she is my mother. she loves my dad alot, a bold thing for a woman like her to try. she adores my sister and willingly gives her what she herself wants and wills to give; again, despite the arrogance and disrespect that return.

i - i'm home. and while this may not be a typical day at home, this is one of those days every week that i would do anything to avoid. i give, i give, and i give again... if i'm still unhappy and upset, if i still get disappointed and rejected, if they do what they seemingly do best, all i could do is to give...

give what? in a family, it's called 'give in'.

dear God, as a continue to love the people i love, teach me to love my family - even if it takes for me to start over and over again. thank You, Father. Amen.

creation4

BAND3

=D

=] =] =]

=D

=] =] =]

=D

=] =] =]

zzz... =D...

-.-... -.o... -.-... o.-...

:]... =]... =)...

=D!!! AHHHHH!!! =D

BAND2

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

i'm still very *h_i_g_h* from thinking about band!!! =D

ARRRRRHHHHHH!!! =D

i'm gonna D-R-E-A-M about BAND tonight!!!

BAND

i miss the feeling of sharp anticipation while standing backstage... i miss the fear the my lao-gong's slide [my trombone slide] will hit my music stand and every stand on the trumpet-trombone row will fall like dominos... i miss being so exceptionally excited before each competition and major performance that i sleep 3 hours and feel total refreshment and rejuvenation... i miss the times of HIMB... i miss SRJCSB...

when i became Section Leader at sec 3, Band Major ShuAn wrote a letter to me saying that she knew my section was in good hands... she told me something i will never forget not regret...

once a band member, always a band member...

practices are mondays and saturday mornings... =/ hopefully i can go saturday morning... =D

the feeling of stepping into the band room is like : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

can't stop smiling!!! =D

creation3 - stoopid.

SHOES!!! =] =/ =( haix... i don't even need them... but i like... ARHGGGGG.

creation2

God is my answer... what's yours? =]

creation

=] i like.

crying versus peeing

crying... the release of emotions - frustration, fatigue, agitation, agony, grief, sadness, fear, confusion, and so many more... feels like peeing the batch of pee that was held in for a very long time...

what is this to you?

opinion... not influence.

there was a Story

there was a Particular Room.

there are a few Doors to the Particular Room.

each Door can be opened through several Methods - knocking, shouting at it, banging, using a crow-bar, searching for a key to try the lock IF IT IS LOCKED... or just turning the handle, if it's not locked...

i cannot understand how Person can bang and scream at the Door, and not notice the Other Door...

sick2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R12QVtuB0_Q&feature=video_response

i miss Michael Jackson's era...

sick - fever - bode ache - blaaaarrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

complain

it takes alot of effort to make a person look good... but why do people see it as a need, rather than a want?

fever... flu... nose stuck... shoulders ache... i'm dying...

HARHAR drama!!! =]

i dreamed a dream

a white dog in my dream... but not really white... 'Dark White'... =] woh-woh... =]

i miss the 'glory days'...

in the olden days [of my life i mean, haha], glory was plain old band, 'Go West', marching, foot drill, getting scolded, scolding juniors, practising till mouth perpetually smiles, being afraid of SLs and BMs and DMs... we get tonnes of disgusting music time and the occasional hair-lifting effect...

the way the hair-lifting times make do as compensation for the times of horror during rehearsals... it's like... i dunno... it's like a mother going through pregnancy and raising a horribly naughty child, just to get a weird but very real sense of joy in just loving her child... totally not worth it, but in the end it feels totally right...

i miss my piano, i miss band, i miss the 'glory days'... i can give it all up to make way for school, family and for ministry...

am i in the position to question if it's worth it? i have the choice - commit my time to band and piano, or give it to His church...