hello world!!!
today i went to church in the morning... supposed to meet ruth, den she kept postponing the morning call i was supposed to give her, till around 11+ when i was already in church, i called and she's still in bed. den alex came down to chat with me - p.s. he cut his hair, hahah - gave me 2 pieces of paper about tmr's prayer sessions i am to have with him and Pastor Gary at 2. den alex was like, "i'm hungry", and he rubbed his tummy [-.-] den called ruth. found out ruth had problems at home, he prayer for her through phone, i prayed too. den we went lunch with leeroy and Pastor Gary at Beer Garden... had a good chat, now i know Pastor Gary and Alex are horrible school students. hahaha. leeroy not so bad, just long hair during poly. i'm the best. har har...
den rachel called, and we went back to church to meet her. pauline came too. den saw leon. kumweng and benjamin came for bass lesson, den rachel went for worship lessons with kumweng. den later chatted with leeroy about the music theory syllabus, while eating prawn crackers outside Genesis Youth room [such salty crackers in the first packet, out of two]. rachel and pauline left to go bugis. i stayed awhile to help kumweng write the alphabets on top of his bass guitar score -hahaha, so funny ah, tried to explain between high and low B.
den went dinner with mum and dad and sis at the midnight curry whatever... mum and dad quarreled again, as usual.
marcus kept bugging to patch up, haix. i really am not keen on relationships now. as in, now as in, now. maybe it's because it's him. i dunno... i feel abit lazy to tell my friends, cos i know they'd kill me about this. so yeah...
watching Healing Hands now... hm. it's such a nice show. =]
i gtg liao. har har... tmr prayer session, to get rid of bad things and spirits and whatever bad memories, so i can heal properly and be pure and clean to worship God with all my heart and soul =]
Au Revoir!!! =]
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
God showed me a vision
hello world!!! =]
amazing thing to report. last night, 25 May 2008, sunday night. i was lying in bed, after finishing my prayers to God. i was starting to night-dream after i closed my prayer, and then i closed my eyes for a moment and i saw a scene - a shining light from the top left corner and hands reaching from bottom right towards the light. i thought maybe it was the effect of Hillsong United's concert saturday night, so i just opened my eyes and rolled in bed. then i closed my eyes and i saw that picture again. den i said, "Lord, please open my eyes so i can see", and the picture began to open up, i saw children. i saw some with eyes closed, some with with eyes open, some with tears rolling down their burnt cheeks. so i said a prayer for the children of the world, and i thanked God for this revelation that God still has work to be done in those parts of the world.
hmmm... dunno lar. i wanna watch Made of Honour!!! i shall yue bei...
i gtg go look at private universities now, in case ntu also rejects me like nus did. =/
hahaha... i shall go CONSUME my muffin now. bye!!!
Au Revoir!!!... =]
ps: God i love you!!!
amazing thing to report. last night, 25 May 2008, sunday night. i was lying in bed, after finishing my prayers to God. i was starting to night-dream after i closed my prayer, and then i closed my eyes for a moment and i saw a scene - a shining light from the top left corner and hands reaching from bottom right towards the light. i thought maybe it was the effect of Hillsong United's concert saturday night, so i just opened my eyes and rolled in bed. then i closed my eyes and i saw that picture again. den i said, "Lord, please open my eyes so i can see", and the picture began to open up, i saw children. i saw some with eyes closed, some with with eyes open, some with tears rolling down their burnt cheeks. so i said a prayer for the children of the world, and i thanked God for this revelation that God still has work to be done in those parts of the world.
hmmm... dunno lar. i wanna watch Made of Honour!!! i shall yue bei...
i gtg go look at private universities now, in case ntu also rejects me like nus did. =/
hahaha... i shall go CONSUME my muffin now. bye!!!
Au Revoir!!!... =]
ps: God i love you!!!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
better in time
hello world. i'm back on track.
just spent a week going to and from church. spent alot of time with church people, esp ruth and rachel. the two girls are abit more special to me, maybe cos' they're from hihs too. haha. hm. not bad lar, just that i could have spent more time on piano.
today piano, i got scolded. and i really wanted to burst into tears. i went back to church after lesson, den sat outside at Parish Hall, den i was like, dead. den ruth came out, den i buay-tahan, i told her i wanted to cry cos i was damn stressed. den she's so sweet, go borrow key for Goodness Hall, and i was abit reluctant at first cos i was scared of someone who kept pestering me [i can't say the person's name yet lar, but i try not to burst out in rage or fly at him in temper, thought it's really difficult, seriously], den she said she'll open the door den i can fly in. anyway later on the person had gone to play with elias, so yeah, i'm safe. har har.
today cell, abit different. alex did things differently. out ice-breaker, lucky i didn't get the forfeit man, hahaha. i did my revision of books of the bible. hahaha. yay. sheena came today, finally lar she. today's cell was great man - thanks alex =).
collected my instrument from mr ng, he drove into church to pass it to me. went into parish hall again, open the case, hua, my lao-gong [i mean, the trombone] looks so shuai sia!!! har har har. i went to do buzzing for awhile den kept mouthpiece back. chatted with alex while waiting for the rest of the cell group to turn up; found out he was a trombonist, but for a year only. hahaha [suddenly i remembered Mr Tan TH telling us during band prac when i was still at hihs that brass players, predominantly trombonists, are good kissers, HAR HAR HAR].
tmr i'm thinking if i wanna go for hihs band, i got my crazy cough again. i won't play if i go, anyway i got no scores cos my printer is down.
o yay. yeah. i wanna say this. praise God. i can't believe all the things He did to me, for me and in me. so many things. i really couldn't have done it without Him.
i'm sleepy. i shall go sleep [remembered, i have to tell ruth to stop dreaming about me and that guy, horrible girl she, mad mad mad]. i hope ruth and rachel will take initiative to learn and study hard, i think they can both do well if they want to. and i pray leon and rachel and whomever is learning piano with me will be well-taught by the Holy Spirit, and that the Holy Spirit will be my guide as to how i am to teach and impart my knowledge to them in the most precise and clear manner.
just picked mei from side gate since she had no key. she walked like a zombie. for a few moments, i was thinking if it's me, i'd probably have to walk alone, no one to lean on except God, no one who cares if i reach home with peace-at-heart except God. but well, i'm the da-jie, i have to be strong.
haix.
and one more thing: thank God for music in my life. =] i just LURVE it.
Au Revoir!!!
just spent a week going to and from church. spent alot of time with church people, esp ruth and rachel. the two girls are abit more special to me, maybe cos' they're from hihs too. haha. hm. not bad lar, just that i could have spent more time on piano.
today piano, i got scolded. and i really wanted to burst into tears. i went back to church after lesson, den sat outside at Parish Hall, den i was like, dead. den ruth came out, den i buay-tahan, i told her i wanted to cry cos i was damn stressed. den she's so sweet, go borrow key for Goodness Hall, and i was abit reluctant at first cos i was scared of someone who kept pestering me [i can't say the person's name yet lar, but i try not to burst out in rage or fly at him in temper, thought it's really difficult, seriously], den she said she'll open the door den i can fly in. anyway later on the person had gone to play with elias, so yeah, i'm safe. har har.
today cell, abit different. alex did things differently. out ice-breaker, lucky i didn't get the forfeit man, hahaha. i did my revision of books of the bible. hahaha. yay. sheena came today, finally lar she. today's cell was great man - thanks alex =).
collected my instrument from mr ng, he drove into church to pass it to me. went into parish hall again, open the case, hua, my lao-gong [i mean, the trombone] looks so shuai sia!!! har har har. i went to do buzzing for awhile den kept mouthpiece back. chatted with alex while waiting for the rest of the cell group to turn up; found out he was a trombonist, but for a year only. hahaha [suddenly i remembered Mr Tan TH telling us during band prac when i was still at hihs that brass players, predominantly trombonists, are good kissers, HAR HAR HAR].
tmr i'm thinking if i wanna go for hihs band, i got my crazy cough again. i won't play if i go, anyway i got no scores cos my printer is down.
o yay. yeah. i wanna say this. praise God. i can't believe all the things He did to me, for me and in me. so many things. i really couldn't have done it without Him.
i'm sleepy. i shall go sleep [remembered, i have to tell ruth to stop dreaming about me and that guy, horrible girl she, mad mad mad]. i hope ruth and rachel will take initiative to learn and study hard, i think they can both do well if they want to. and i pray leon and rachel and whomever is learning piano with me will be well-taught by the Holy Spirit, and that the Holy Spirit will be my guide as to how i am to teach and impart my knowledge to them in the most precise and clear manner.
just picked mei from side gate since she had no key. she walked like a zombie. for a few moments, i was thinking if it's me, i'd probably have to walk alone, no one to lean on except God, no one who cares if i reach home with peace-at-heart except God. but well, i'm the da-jie, i have to be strong.
haix.
and one more thing: thank God for music in my life. =] i just LURVE it.
Au Revoir!!!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
my sad life
i'm so sad. so pls don't read this post. it's for me to rant only.
my life. my sad life. freaking angry at why people have to direct me here and there.
i wanted music. since primary school. till secondary school. till jc. when did i stop?
music is not my passion. it's my TALENT. i love performing or rather, showing off. performance and directing is my passion. together, music is my life. why is that so difficult to understand. i tell people, i wanna be a singer, i wanna be a composer of "songs that make the whole world sing", i wanna be a renowned music teacher, i want to produce splendid musicals and plays, i want to show the world what music can do to heal physical hurt and heal our souls, i want to be a dancer, i want to perform in theatre shows, comedies and recitals, i want to play my trombone in concerts and march in a marching band like i own the world's attention. why didn't anybody understand that THOSE weren't JOKES. i was serious.
the further i walk away from music, my desired destination, the more tired i become, and the more i don't want to turn back. i don't have the energy anymore.
i practice my piano like anything in the world. i skip lunch for it, i play till my skin peel and i just layer on the plaster even though after doing so i can barely feel the ivory keys beneath my fingers, i play with my heart and soul and sometimes lose them as a result, i play my piano for hours and i can keep going till school chases me out, i practice though i have chronic cough so that if i ever am sick during an exam i can deliver at least a merit standard performance to the examiner, i go for practice in tank top and shorts without jacket though i'm afraid of cold and may get panic attack just so that i can get myself used to the biting cold through thie grueling process, i do push-ups so that i have strength to bang my wrist on the keys because my short fingers themselves don't have the length to execute appropriate swing and momentum so that my fortissimo notes are loud enough, i wear metal rings on my fourth finger to force open the gap between it and my last and third finger so i can play better, for certain songs i play till my finger get bruises and nails get chipped off, i memorise songs easily and get called mad by people, i get laughed at or taken as having fits when i say i'm stressed about piano, i get discrimination when i practice more than others during band, i get insulted for being known to have high expectations for music quality, i get reprimanded by family members and relatives for being to strict with myself and torturing myself for nothing, i can sing in tune and people say after hearing me sing at k box nobody else would dare sing for fear of making a fool of themselves relative to my singing, i tell people with potential that they do and i look like a fool, i practice hard despite no time for grade 6 and 7 during my A levels year and got chided for getting a Merit for both, i tell people i'm Cristofori's Nominated Top Student of the Year 2007 as well as their Outstanding Student and i get called insane when i say it gives me additional and redundant stress.
does anybody understand? too many details? there are more. in my life, i get stressed for the smallest of things, it seems. i cry when i failed my 2.4 km run in sec 4, people call me mad and attention-seeker. nobody knows i get scolded at home for failing. i cry when i fail subjects by a few marks, they call me an idiot for crying - to them, it's not as if i failed by the tens, but to me, failing is bad enough. i am well-mannered and respectful to teachers, people say i suck-up to HOD and don't even think that i am RAISED that way.
i have a strict home, yes. when friends come over, my parents are friendly and open-minded, yes, but that doesn't give ME the reason to be wild like i would like to be.
look at what i looked like when i was young. recall how i was when i was young. i was amused by anything. i laughed at any joke. i smiled at everybody. i hugged my uncles and anties and grandparents, i say sweet things to my parents when they take me out. i feel like i'm on the top of the world when i receive a lollipop. on my birthday, it's the cards and the people being there that makes the best present.
look at me now. i get stressed so easily, or rather, i think i'm stressed. nobody in this world knows what i'm going through. my ex told me to be more positive, when i told him how stressed i was in piano.
wait. only one person knows. God knows. Jesus knows what i'm saying and i'm sure he understands. He walked every road with me, whether the way He wanted me to walk, or when i had to follow my parents' planned-route for life.
now i think, maybe, since so many people tell me to be realistic and that music cannot be my career and i should not pursue it, maybe it's what God is trying to say?
but if it is, why is it so hard for me to let go. it's more difficult to let go than a relationship. well, maybe because it means more, but does it really?
i'm not emo-ing. if i am, i would have gotten over this same problem years ago. i'm tired of my life walking the road people want me to walk, but i'm not being let to walk it independently. they grasp tight on my hands, point carefully where not to step onto.
for goodness sake, falling down will not take my life. or will it? but surely falling down at all will do me good. why do people around me care for me SOOOOOO much until letting-go just goes out of their dictionary? just letting me practice for 5 hours at piano and i get calls asking if i'm fine, if i'm sick, if i'm not well, if i'm okay... i'm sorry, yes, i do find it irritating. what to do? how to hide the fact that practice is important to me?
haix. wtf. i shall keep quiet. to my friends who read this and don't know wth i'm talking about, i'm sorry, but there are things like these that i know will be bothersome for you all to know about. however much a best friend, close friend, childhood friend, or even my sister or parents, nobody knows about this other than the friend i know in Jesus.
i shall go. i'm lost. i'm lost. my Shephard, i know u won't forsake me. thank You. =]
yay, thank God i'm smiling again.
my life. my sad life. freaking angry at why people have to direct me here and there.
i wanted music. since primary school. till secondary school. till jc. when did i stop?
music is not my passion. it's my TALENT. i love performing or rather, showing off. performance and directing is my passion. together, music is my life. why is that so difficult to understand. i tell people, i wanna be a singer, i wanna be a composer of "songs that make the whole world sing", i wanna be a renowned music teacher, i want to produce splendid musicals and plays, i want to show the world what music can do to heal physical hurt and heal our souls, i want to be a dancer, i want to perform in theatre shows, comedies and recitals, i want to play my trombone in concerts and march in a marching band like i own the world's attention. why didn't anybody understand that THOSE weren't JOKES. i was serious.
the further i walk away from music, my desired destination, the more tired i become, and the more i don't want to turn back. i don't have the energy anymore.
i practice my piano like anything in the world. i skip lunch for it, i play till my skin peel and i just layer on the plaster even though after doing so i can barely feel the ivory keys beneath my fingers, i play with my heart and soul and sometimes lose them as a result, i play my piano for hours and i can keep going till school chases me out, i practice though i have chronic cough so that if i ever am sick during an exam i can deliver at least a merit standard performance to the examiner, i go for practice in tank top and shorts without jacket though i'm afraid of cold and may get panic attack just so that i can get myself used to the biting cold through thie grueling process, i do push-ups so that i have strength to bang my wrist on the keys because my short fingers themselves don't have the length to execute appropriate swing and momentum so that my fortissimo notes are loud enough, i wear metal rings on my fourth finger to force open the gap between it and my last and third finger so i can play better, for certain songs i play till my finger get bruises and nails get chipped off, i memorise songs easily and get called mad by people, i get laughed at or taken as having fits when i say i'm stressed about piano, i get discrimination when i practice more than others during band, i get insulted for being known to have high expectations for music quality, i get reprimanded by family members and relatives for being to strict with myself and torturing myself for nothing, i can sing in tune and people say after hearing me sing at k box nobody else would dare sing for fear of making a fool of themselves relative to my singing, i tell people with potential that they do and i look like a fool, i practice hard despite no time for grade 6 and 7 during my A levels year and got chided for getting a Merit for both, i tell people i'm Cristofori's Nominated Top Student of the Year 2007 as well as their Outstanding Student and i get called insane when i say it gives me additional and redundant stress.
does anybody understand? too many details? there are more. in my life, i get stressed for the smallest of things, it seems. i cry when i failed my 2.4 km run in sec 4, people call me mad and attention-seeker. nobody knows i get scolded at home for failing. i cry when i fail subjects by a few marks, they call me an idiot for crying - to them, it's not as if i failed by the tens, but to me, failing is bad enough. i am well-mannered and respectful to teachers, people say i suck-up to HOD and don't even think that i am RAISED that way.
i have a strict home, yes. when friends come over, my parents are friendly and open-minded, yes, but that doesn't give ME the reason to be wild like i would like to be.
look at what i looked like when i was young. recall how i was when i was young. i was amused by anything. i laughed at any joke. i smiled at everybody. i hugged my uncles and anties and grandparents, i say sweet things to my parents when they take me out. i feel like i'm on the top of the world when i receive a lollipop. on my birthday, it's the cards and the people being there that makes the best present.
look at me now. i get stressed so easily, or rather, i think i'm stressed. nobody in this world knows what i'm going through. my ex told me to be more positive, when i told him how stressed i was in piano.
wait. only one person knows. God knows. Jesus knows what i'm saying and i'm sure he understands. He walked every road with me, whether the way He wanted me to walk, or when i had to follow my parents' planned-route for life.
now i think, maybe, since so many people tell me to be realistic and that music cannot be my career and i should not pursue it, maybe it's what God is trying to say?
but if it is, why is it so hard for me to let go. it's more difficult to let go than a relationship. well, maybe because it means more, but does it really?
i'm not emo-ing. if i am, i would have gotten over this same problem years ago. i'm tired of my life walking the road people want me to walk, but i'm not being let to walk it independently. they grasp tight on my hands, point carefully where not to step onto.
for goodness sake, falling down will not take my life. or will it? but surely falling down at all will do me good. why do people around me care for me SOOOOOO much until letting-go just goes out of their dictionary? just letting me practice for 5 hours at piano and i get calls asking if i'm fine, if i'm sick, if i'm not well, if i'm okay... i'm sorry, yes, i do find it irritating. what to do? how to hide the fact that practice is important to me?
haix. wtf. i shall keep quiet. to my friends who read this and don't know wth i'm talking about, i'm sorry, but there are things like these that i know will be bothersome for you all to know about. however much a best friend, close friend, childhood friend, or even my sister or parents, nobody knows about this other than the friend i know in Jesus.
i shall go. i'm lost. i'm lost. my Shephard, i know u won't forsake me. thank You. =]
yay, thank God i'm smiling again.
Friday, May 16, 2008
fast update
hello world.
okok. i don't have alot of time.
anyway.
yestereday's musical with marcus' family, it's damn funny lar. hahah. just that he didn't let me pay the $59.90. hm. yeah. he still kept bullying his mum. i left, didn't join them for supper, cos (1) i felt abit sick, reached about 10 + i started my coughs already (2) felt weird, abit lar (3) i was worried bout sis at home being stressed...
i'll update more lar. i got piano at 330.
i gotta do my laundry stuff now.
o ya, ps. i got NIE letter. but for primary school teaching. hm. maybe music? dunno.
yeah. i gtg. byby. WAH har har har. =]
okok. i don't have alot of time.
anyway.
yestereday's musical with marcus' family, it's damn funny lar. hahah. just that he didn't let me pay the $59.90. hm. yeah. he still kept bullying his mum. i left, didn't join them for supper, cos (1) i felt abit sick, reached about 10 + i started my coughs already (2) felt weird, abit lar (3) i was worried bout sis at home being stressed...
i'll update more lar. i got piano at 330.
i gotta do my laundry stuff now.
o ya, ps. i got NIE letter. but for primary school teaching. hm. maybe music? dunno.
yeah. i gtg. byby. WAH har har har. =]
Thursday, May 15, 2008
thursday's wake up call
hello world... =]
i had my dear alarm clock wake me up at 9+ but unwillingly [or willingly, maybe, i dunno,maybe i was drunk in my dreams, den needed to sleep more, HAR HAR HAR] slept until 1130 [HUAR HUAR HUAR, i'm so pro] and den rolled in bed [my daily ritual, to appreciate my Tiggers and Lumpys who sleep with me, bonding time, har har har] den got out of bed [finally] at 12. =]
i already got Mei's [my sister is called Mei, as in, i call her that] present already man. i shan't type it here, cos she may read it [WA HAR HAR HAR].
*clears throat, clears nose and windpipe into tissue, give sian face*... [-.-] hmmm...
today i'm gonna do these things:
i had my dear alarm clock wake me up at 9+ but unwillingly [or willingly, maybe, i dunno,maybe i was drunk in my dreams, den needed to sleep more, HAR HAR HAR] slept until 1130 [HUAR HUAR HUAR, i'm so pro] and den rolled in bed [my daily ritual, to appreciate my Tiggers and Lumpys who sleep with me, bonding time, har har har] den got out of bed [finally] at 12. =]
i already got Mei's [my sister is called Mei, as in, i call her that] present already man. i shan't type it here, cos she may read it [WA HAR HAR HAR].
*clears throat, clears nose and windpipe into tissue, give sian face*... [-.-] hmmm...
today i'm gonna do these things:
- eat lunch with gramma [she tapao for me]
- change and go for piano practice [maybe will have make up lesson, not sure]
- hurry for dinner
- train down to meet marcus at 720 @ bugis
hmmm. was contemplating if i should have told sihui and agnes and khai my buddy and other friends of mine about my plans tonight, den maybe i would have gotten more opinions if i should really go or not. i had a bit of trouble last night, cos of this awkward feeling of going out with him, so randomly. NOT because [like what my church friend suggested] i still like him. no, i don't think i have anymore feelings for him; they should have been gone by now [or rather, i think so]. but it's just so annoying to have thig bugging feeling i should have spent my time else where. think about it. the opportunity cost of going for that musical are either of these: (1) quiet-time for God, study bible, finish up Lessons on Assurance (2) practice piano, study aural theory (3)watch tv, and NOT miss de 10-11 pm chinese show [=( wa shit lar, how can i miss it, haix]...
well, done means done. i told him i'd go. anyway his family knows about the break up, so at least i feel better.
har har, Alex [Kairos cell group leader, my cell leader] msged me in the morning at 1130 sia. haha, lucky i'm awake. i'm going for cell tmr [friday], and i'm asked to invite my sis along. yay. tonight i have to revise last sunday's sermon. =]
i have to go down later to start daddy's car engine, ram for awhile, den maybe i go open letter-box, hope for nus or ntu letters, den come up have lunch.
been quite lazy to do quiet-time recently. even if i did [i have been doing QT about 15 minutes daily], it's so short a time, i feel that i should have spent more time. hm, but at least i did my daily prayers.
i gotta do laundry too, sian. [-.-]
yay! my God is MIGHTY TO SAVE!!! =] i'm mad. i shall go do stuff now... [ps, my buddy msg me, wow i's so glad he msg me, yay =) haha]
gtg. byby. Au Revoir.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
full of virus
yoooooooo hooooooo... hello world...
i'm sick. author is sick. shit.
dustbin is full of my flu-mucus-y tissues... and i'm full of virus...
alicia told me don't go with marcus for musical at first, den said i can go but don't sit with him. hmmm. [-.-] whatever... we're just friends...
'm eating lunch with gramma now. har har. so cool. raining... i tell u, my house living room's view is fantastic man... =] i LOVE my house...
i gtg liao. going piano. haix...
anybody wanna volunteer for salvation army or anything, lemme know. =]
Au Revoir.
i'm sick. author is sick. shit.
dustbin is full of my flu-mucus-y tissues... and i'm full of virus...
alicia told me don't go with marcus for musical at first, den said i can go but don't sit with him. hmmm. [-.-] whatever... we're just friends...
'm eating lunch with gramma now. har har. so cool. raining... i tell u, my house living room's view is fantastic man... =] i LOVE my house...
i gtg liao. going piano. haix...
anybody wanna volunteer for salvation army or anything, lemme know. =]
Au Revoir.
Monday, May 12, 2008
i wait to write songs
i like this:
"i write the songs that make the whole world sing,
i write the songs that's made of special things,
i write the songs that make the young girls cry,
i write the songs, i write the songs."
so sweet right... i'm waiting for opportunity and inspiration man... i can compose, but i can't write lyrics for nuts.
and i LOVE singing. =] Bei thanks for sending me the song Better In Time, it so applied to me THEN, but i love it nonetheless =]
ruth is so sweet, she msg me to ask if i was okay and how's my family, thanks girl!!! =]
naughty rachel isn't in school. hahaha.
k. i haven't heat up the pizza. i'm so lazy.
Au Revoir.
"i write the songs that make the whole world sing,
i write the songs that's made of special things,
i write the songs that make the young girls cry,
i write the songs, i write the songs."
so sweet right... i'm waiting for opportunity and inspiration man... i can compose, but i can't write lyrics for nuts.
and i LOVE singing. =] Bei thanks for sending me the song Better In Time, it so applied to me THEN, but i love it nonetheless =]
ruth is so sweet, she msg me to ask if i was okay and how's my family, thanks girl!!! =]
naughty rachel isn't in school. hahaha.
k. i haven't heat up the pizza. i'm so lazy.
Au Revoir.
finally the time to go online
yo yo world. hello!!! huggies world. har har...
i am FINALLY online [shit. is it finaLLY or finaLy? which spelling? omg, dumb cow brain of mine -.- ]. talking to Reetha my fellow moo-moo online. she skipped class and is in the library, she says the class was "no point". haha... den we talked about the part of the bible where John had to interpret the Pharaoh's dreams, and that she and i are the cows inside [-.- yeah, spare me the reetha's moments man], and now she's confessing to climbing over the fence when she's at SRJC [omg lar, that woman, she's got mad cow disease already].
o well... updates updates...
THURSDAY: lunch with bei: [i went early to see XieLi first, KY wasn't working when i went there, o well] we went compasspoint for lunch, [met sarah and wanling there, so we shared table] ate at mos [bei shared about her shuai-J2 with wanling, since wanling's from SR and in that guy's batch, and got email contacts etc so 'll see if wanling knows the fella when bei scans the photo to show the guy's shuai face. but i don't think he's THAT shuai lar, cos i can't even rmb his face, dots, bei don't kill me ah. hahaha]... movie with bei at vivo. we watched Over My Dead Body [super nice, i liked it, very cute lar] and Superhero [bei liked this one more, but it's like so much sexually-suggestive scenes, i think it's abit too crude lar, the jokes were SO SO SO lame, they can even be funny, and that stupid bei says i lag when i laugh, wth. hahaha]... went home after eating at Mac at hougang mall.
FRIDAY: sick: had to cancel piano lesson [de-de-de-DE, de-de-de-DEH; hahaha, mozart's symphony no. 40 in G minor]. i had the flu and the cough and the phlegm. evening we went to Pepper Lunch for dinner, pre-Mother's-Day celebration for my mum, since she's flying to Europe with dad on saturday [we got the discount, cos mei used to work there].
SATURDAY: mei had tuition, so we went to kovan to eat beef noodles [the lousy one, and it was so super peppery, i had to wash the noodles in soup just so i could even eat it] den me and parents went NTUC to pick up some stuff, den head home. i took medicine, drowsy, fell asleep [slept 1 hour plus], mum woke me up awhile later asked me if i wanted food, i agreed with bachang [i know, bachang again, but it's nice ma,i just don't understand what's so amazing about me liking to eat things over and over again, never hear of craving before meh, wth] den i zoned off again while mum went to pick my sis up. i woke up [2 hours later, hahaha i'm such a pig] and had my bachang. den we went dinner with gramma and all [mother's side family] at Mui-Chun [Plum Village Restaurant, at upper thomson road around there lar, wherever it is] den went home with popo [my gramma] too, mum and dad with their farewell ritual of hugs and etc, den they left for airport. i did the laundry [don't gimme the surprised look man, wa lao], machine washed [i shall remember the next time that the 2nd rinse is 23 minutes before i pour the softener -.-] the clothes, hung them up [boy i feel like a mum already], took my medicine, tuck my sis into bed with our brother Tigger [she slept in same room with gramma], den i went to bed, did my prayers, den fell asleep [and hoped all night in my dreams that i won't get blocked nose and have to breathe through my mouth and get a dried up throat in the morning].
SUNDAY: church with sis: went to St. Paul's on sunday, 11.30 youth service ma. sis met new people, etc. had praise and worship [lucky my sis not so shy, she jumps around and worships like us too], sermon [told them i wasn't going for GDOP cos i'm sick], den last song, den end of service, mei and xuexian and i went heartland mall 2nd floor that whatever jap place to eat [ps mei broke her sandals, so she got a new pair]. went back home [reached home about 3], popo's back already. i did my stuff, den i decided to go GDOP [cos i wanted to pray for the people in Myanmar] and i msged ah yee. so decided go early dinner at Mac @ hougang mall, take shuttle out. popo sat beside me in the shuttle bus, ah yee called me, said they're joining us, got bad news for popo, her sis in malaysia had passed away that morning, so ah yee and yee jiong's gonna be with my popo, and i was to decide if i wanna go for GDOP still. i was quite shocked, cos kampo [pronounced kam-por, my gramma's sis] had watched me grow up too, and i saw her at least once a year when she visits singapore with my late uncle cheong [haix, so sad lar, i was like gonna cry on the bus, and i had to fake it and look out the window, and pretend that it's the flu that make me have tears in my eyes]. and then i decided to go for GDOP anyway, for i had felt that, while yes i have lost a relative and should be mourning, the thousands and millions of people in Burma [myanmar, in case u don't know] will need my prayer tonight, so there. i ate dinner, ah yee and yee jiong came, den i left for church [reached church about 5.50pm] den waited for ruth outside sanctuary, i didn't wanna go to parish hall yet, i was afraid i 'd just cry out thinking about kampo and the sweet things she used to say about me. so i sat there alone. i tried to distract my thoughts by reading the Time magazine i brought with me, i read about Burma and the cyclone Nargis, gosh, i saw the pictures [wa lao eh i wanna cry sia]. at that moment, all the more i was convinced that i had to go for GDOP. so yeah, ruth came with rachel, i told them about kampo, and i asked for a hug, got the hug [i felt better after that], we went towards parish hall to look for the other youths since the bus was here already. den went up the bus [mini-bus, to be exact, and we squeezed up, not went up], i sat with ruth and rachel [3 of us in 2 seats, lucky we're not fat], and the bus went off. played bible games on the bus, i realised how fun it is to know the bible [so what Vicar said that day during sermon is right, Christian life is interesting] etc. den we reached indoor stadium, got the green tickets, went in, quite nice place [esp if it's band concert, omg so cool sia] it is. during GDOP, Marcus msged me, asked if i was free to go for musical with his family, and i was like -.- cos it's like after such a long silence, he randomly ask me to go for a musical. i ignored earlier when i didn't know who msged me, den he msged again saying reply please. i ignored again after seeing the msg, den i concentrated on praying, for the government of Singapore, for Asia, for the different nations, my group prayed for Krgystan [we took turns to say prayers, rachel spoke in tongues, hm but sounds like the same thing alot of people say, whatever], den split the whole population in the stadium to pray for different issues, my group was in the arena at the front, so we prayed for Contemporary Issues. it was quite late by the time we ended. i looked at my phone, marcus gave me a missed call, i asked ruth what to do, to say yes or not, i think it's quite rhetorical, cos in the end, i asked my heart and my heart asked God [felt abit weird lar, cos like break already, and i even asked marcus if he asked the correct person], and soon i got the answer, and i replied marcus saying i'd go. Sharleen was like asking and asking, issit my ex, what happened, etc. whatever. den went up bus, ruth and rachel and sharleen was SOOOOOOOO NOISY, i think the deaf can hear them too [HAR HAR HAR, i'm so bad sia]. FINALY reached church at 10+. i said goodbyes, told rachel to pls go to school tmr [that's today, monday] den me and ruth ran to the bus stop [i passed her some loose change with the 5 cents so she can take bus], 136 came and i went up with some of the church adults. i sat alone, thinking thinking; before ending the conversation with Marcus, i had asked him to pray for me, cos i needed to go home to handle a possible crisis [dunno how gramma was after hearing the news], and i prayed. den i wanted to cry and i asked for the Holy Spirit to come and fill me, to give me guidance. den i felt a peaceful calm in my heart. i alighted, walked home [actually i sorta flew, in light steps, like running but walking or both, sibei don't laugh, i know, i'm a bird], towards side gate, i felt abit dizzy [think probably cos of my wheezing nose], i thought about my shuai-ge-in-lime-green-trunks, den suddenly i thought about Marucs too, den i slapped myself awake, continued walking home, the compound was so dark sia. nobody at poolside, no security guard either. reached home, door wasn't locked [i panicked for a brief second, thought there's something bad that already happened], went in, popo was okay. ah yee and yee jiong still there. i hugged popo, den i shared about GDOP with ah yee and yee jiong and mei. den ah yee and yee jiong and gramma left, cos next day [that's today] they're leaving for malaysia. den i bathed [did my usual night routine, while emo-ing in the toilet cos i sorta miss my band days, about what Rev. Edmund Chan from CEFC shared during GDOP], mei went to sleep, i made sure things were proper [doors locked, curtains closed, etc], den i went to pray at my bedside [actually, i was standing on my ladder =) hahah], i reflected alot, cried abit, thought alot about my life, and i asked God for renewed faith in Him, and i clasped my hand tight [ps. this speaker at GDOP shared that a guy from dunno which country said that when u clasp your hands or stretch your arms with an open heart or kneel in prayer, satan and the evil spirits will flee from you, for it is an outward prophetic action to proclaim that God is victorious and He has won and we shall always be protected by the Holy Spirit] and i prayed for Burma again. den i went into bed, i did my Quiet-Time, i offered my life to Jesus once more, [ps. marcus msged me saying "hope you are better. i'm going to sleep" and i felt abit weird like why msg me this, but i replied saying "'m better. thanks. goodnight"], i msged mum to update her things, replied sihui's msg, said one last prayer for my piano, den i slept with SUCH a peaceful heart. felt great. no, awesome.
TODAY: i'm gonna practice piano for awhile. i'm contemplating if i should go HIMB today or on Saturday instead. dinner tonight will be at compasspoint, with yee jiong and mei.
i just had corn-flakes. o man. i'm gonna eat left over pizza.
o ya, that bei told me she couldn't let me devour her cookies cos they were SUPPOSEDLY so wonderful that they've been gobbled up by her family. hahaha. eh, come on lar, what are frens for, i told bei make some more for me. HAR HAR HAR...
WA HAR HAR HAR... evil laugh, sounds more of funny den evil. hahaha.
i've decided, i wanna be myself. MYSELF. as in me, but not Allison kinda me, but Allison kinda ME, u get it?
=] yay =]
i'm going to read the bible now. =] no. i shall go micro-wave the pizza first, let's hope the microwave oven doesn't explode on me [ps gramma told me that i can't microwave eggs, well, i learned something new last night. hahaha]...
BYE BYE...
Au Revoir!!! =) [ps. wow, i LOVE my life man]...
i am FINALLY online [shit. is it finaLLY or finaLy? which spelling? omg, dumb cow brain of mine -.- ]. talking to Reetha my fellow moo-moo online. she skipped class and is in the library, she says the class was "no point". haha... den we talked about the part of the bible where John had to interpret the Pharaoh's dreams, and that she and i are the cows inside [-.- yeah, spare me the reetha's moments man], and now she's confessing to climbing over the fence when she's at SRJC [omg lar, that woman, she's got mad cow disease already].
o well... updates updates...
THURSDAY: lunch with bei: [i went early to see XieLi first, KY wasn't working when i went there, o well] we went compasspoint for lunch, [met sarah and wanling there, so we shared table] ate at mos [bei shared about her shuai-J2 with wanling, since wanling's from SR and in that guy's batch, and got email contacts etc so 'll see if wanling knows the fella when bei scans the photo to show the guy's shuai face. but i don't think he's THAT shuai lar, cos i can't even rmb his face, dots, bei don't kill me ah. hahaha]... movie with bei at vivo. we watched Over My Dead Body [super nice, i liked it, very cute lar] and Superhero [bei liked this one more, but it's like so much sexually-suggestive scenes, i think it's abit too crude lar, the jokes were SO SO SO lame, they can even be funny, and that stupid bei says i lag when i laugh, wth. hahaha]... went home after eating at Mac at hougang mall.
FRIDAY: sick: had to cancel piano lesson [de-de-de-DE, de-de-de-DEH; hahaha, mozart's symphony no. 40 in G minor]. i had the flu and the cough and the phlegm. evening we went to Pepper Lunch for dinner, pre-Mother's-Day celebration for my mum, since she's flying to Europe with dad on saturday [we got the discount, cos mei used to work there].
SATURDAY: mei had tuition, so we went to kovan to eat beef noodles [the lousy one, and it was so super peppery, i had to wash the noodles in soup just so i could even eat it] den me and parents went NTUC to pick up some stuff, den head home. i took medicine, drowsy, fell asleep [slept 1 hour plus], mum woke me up awhile later asked me if i wanted food, i agreed with bachang [i know, bachang again, but it's nice ma,i just don't understand what's so amazing about me liking to eat things over and over again, never hear of craving before meh, wth] den i zoned off again while mum went to pick my sis up. i woke up [2 hours later, hahaha i'm such a pig] and had my bachang. den we went dinner with gramma and all [mother's side family] at Mui-Chun [Plum Village Restaurant, at upper thomson road around there lar, wherever it is] den went home with popo [my gramma] too, mum and dad with their farewell ritual of hugs and etc, den they left for airport. i did the laundry [don't gimme the surprised look man, wa lao], machine washed [i shall remember the next time that the 2nd rinse is 23 minutes before i pour the softener -.-] the clothes, hung them up [boy i feel like a mum already], took my medicine, tuck my sis into bed with our brother Tigger [she slept in same room with gramma], den i went to bed, did my prayers, den fell asleep [and hoped all night in my dreams that i won't get blocked nose and have to breathe through my mouth and get a dried up throat in the morning].
SUNDAY: church with sis: went to St. Paul's on sunday, 11.30 youth service ma. sis met new people, etc. had praise and worship [lucky my sis not so shy, she jumps around and worships like us too], sermon [told them i wasn't going for GDOP cos i'm sick], den last song, den end of service, mei and xuexian and i went heartland mall 2nd floor that whatever jap place to eat [ps mei broke her sandals, so she got a new pair]. went back home [reached home about 3], popo's back already. i did my stuff, den i decided to go GDOP [cos i wanted to pray for the people in Myanmar] and i msged ah yee. so decided go early dinner at Mac @ hougang mall, take shuttle out. popo sat beside me in the shuttle bus, ah yee called me, said they're joining us, got bad news for popo, her sis in malaysia had passed away that morning, so ah yee and yee jiong's gonna be with my popo, and i was to decide if i wanna go for GDOP still. i was quite shocked, cos kampo [pronounced kam-por, my gramma's sis] had watched me grow up too, and i saw her at least once a year when she visits singapore with my late uncle cheong [haix, so sad lar, i was like gonna cry on the bus, and i had to fake it and look out the window, and pretend that it's the flu that make me have tears in my eyes]. and then i decided to go for GDOP anyway, for i had felt that, while yes i have lost a relative and should be mourning, the thousands and millions of people in Burma [myanmar, in case u don't know] will need my prayer tonight, so there. i ate dinner, ah yee and yee jiong came, den i left for church [reached church about 5.50pm] den waited for ruth outside sanctuary, i didn't wanna go to parish hall yet, i was afraid i 'd just cry out thinking about kampo and the sweet things she used to say about me. so i sat there alone. i tried to distract my thoughts by reading the Time magazine i brought with me, i read about Burma and the cyclone Nargis, gosh, i saw the pictures [wa lao eh i wanna cry sia]. at that moment, all the more i was convinced that i had to go for GDOP. so yeah, ruth came with rachel, i told them about kampo, and i asked for a hug, got the hug [i felt better after that], we went towards parish hall to look for the other youths since the bus was here already. den went up the bus [mini-bus, to be exact, and we squeezed up, not went up], i sat with ruth and rachel [3 of us in 2 seats, lucky we're not fat], and the bus went off. played bible games on the bus, i realised how fun it is to know the bible [so what Vicar said that day during sermon is right, Christian life is interesting] etc. den we reached indoor stadium, got the green tickets, went in, quite nice place [esp if it's band concert, omg so cool sia] it is. during GDOP, Marcus msged me, asked if i was free to go for musical with his family, and i was like -.- cos it's like after such a long silence, he randomly ask me to go for a musical. i ignored earlier when i didn't know who msged me, den he msged again saying reply please. i ignored again after seeing the msg, den i concentrated on praying, for the government of Singapore, for Asia, for the different nations, my group prayed for Krgystan [we took turns to say prayers, rachel spoke in tongues, hm but sounds like the same thing alot of people say, whatever], den split the whole population in the stadium to pray for different issues, my group was in the arena at the front, so we prayed for Contemporary Issues. it was quite late by the time we ended. i looked at my phone, marcus gave me a missed call, i asked ruth what to do, to say yes or not, i think it's quite rhetorical, cos in the end, i asked my heart and my heart asked God [felt abit weird lar, cos like break already, and i even asked marcus if he asked the correct person], and soon i got the answer, and i replied marcus saying i'd go. Sharleen was like asking and asking, issit my ex, what happened, etc. whatever. den went up bus, ruth and rachel and sharleen was SOOOOOOOO NOISY, i think the deaf can hear them too [HAR HAR HAR, i'm so bad sia]. FINALY reached church at 10+. i said goodbyes, told rachel to pls go to school tmr [that's today, monday] den me and ruth ran to the bus stop [i passed her some loose change with the 5 cents so she can take bus], 136 came and i went up with some of the church adults. i sat alone, thinking thinking; before ending the conversation with Marcus, i had asked him to pray for me, cos i needed to go home to handle a possible crisis [dunno how gramma was after hearing the news], and i prayed. den i wanted to cry and i asked for the Holy Spirit to come and fill me, to give me guidance. den i felt a peaceful calm in my heart. i alighted, walked home [actually i sorta flew, in light steps, like running but walking or both, sibei don't laugh, i know, i'm a bird], towards side gate, i felt abit dizzy [think probably cos of my wheezing nose], i thought about my shuai-ge-in-lime-green-trunks, den suddenly i thought about Marucs too, den i slapped myself awake, continued walking home, the compound was so dark sia. nobody at poolside, no security guard either. reached home, door wasn't locked [i panicked for a brief second, thought there's something bad that already happened], went in, popo was okay. ah yee and yee jiong still there. i hugged popo, den i shared about GDOP with ah yee and yee jiong and mei. den ah yee and yee jiong and gramma left, cos next day [that's today] they're leaving for malaysia. den i bathed [did my usual night routine, while emo-ing in the toilet cos i sorta miss my band days, about what Rev. Edmund Chan from CEFC shared during GDOP], mei went to sleep, i made sure things were proper [doors locked, curtains closed, etc], den i went to pray at my bedside [actually, i was standing on my ladder =) hahah], i reflected alot, cried abit, thought alot about my life, and i asked God for renewed faith in Him, and i clasped my hand tight [ps. this speaker at GDOP shared that a guy from dunno which country said that when u clasp your hands or stretch your arms with an open heart or kneel in prayer, satan and the evil spirits will flee from you, for it is an outward prophetic action to proclaim that God is victorious and He has won and we shall always be protected by the Holy Spirit] and i prayed for Burma again. den i went into bed, i did my Quiet-Time, i offered my life to Jesus once more, [ps. marcus msged me saying "hope you are better. i'm going to sleep" and i felt abit weird like why msg me this, but i replied saying "'m better. thanks. goodnight"], i msged mum to update her things, replied sihui's msg, said one last prayer for my piano, den i slept with SUCH a peaceful heart. felt great. no, awesome.
TODAY: i'm gonna practice piano for awhile. i'm contemplating if i should go HIMB today or on Saturday instead. dinner tonight will be at compasspoint, with yee jiong and mei.
i just had corn-flakes. o man. i'm gonna eat left over pizza.
o ya, that bei told me she couldn't let me devour her cookies cos they were SUPPOSEDLY so wonderful that they've been gobbled up by her family. hahaha. eh, come on lar, what are frens for, i told bei make some more for me. HAR HAR HAR...
WA HAR HAR HAR... evil laugh, sounds more of funny den evil. hahaha.
i've decided, i wanna be myself. MYSELF. as in me, but not Allison kinda me, but Allison kinda ME, u get it?
=] yay =]
i'm going to read the bible now. =] no. i shall go micro-wave the pizza first, let's hope the microwave oven doesn't explode on me [ps gramma told me that i can't microwave eggs, well, i learned something new last night. hahaha]...
BYE BYE...
Au Revoir!!! =) [ps. wow, i LOVE my life man]...
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
blardy stress or just gone mad
ARHHHHHH HARRRRRRRRRRRRR HARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...
=/...
=(...
T_T...
ARRHHHHHH harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... o man o man... i don't care which uni. i only care WHAT course i do... and i have NO IDEA what i want for my future.
what's my interest? music. what else? how can i say i'm interested in retail, my parents will kill me sia... what else? sales? [sales, i can work as Managing Director of Market] i said marketing, but i dunno how to survive in it.
i only know how to study. shit lar. education in singapore only taught me to study. shit. thanks man.
stress... =/ 'm talking to mali [aka chan mali chan, aka may yee]... parents are our banks, so our future, since it depends on them, gotta be partially decided by them too... well... i shall wait till i am MY OWN BANK den i make my own sui-sui [anyhow, nice-nice] decision to study music.
tmr going out. watch superheroes. i hope i can cool down man. if not i think i'll drive bei nuts liao.
har har. talking to bei msn now. tmr we're going compasspoint in the afternoon [since today i didn't go, i wanna go tmr, see XieLi awhile, cos she called me today, said she's quite sad about sha-shou... den meet bei] for lunch, den go vivo, shop [i wanna buy my MNG top!!!], movie at 5 [ends about 6.20] den go home. =]yay...
bei said "(((:"... i was like, "HAR HAR u got hoo-zi" and i explained that it's actually "hu2-zi3"... funny lar... and she decided to faint, on msn, and so i told her stop fainting, since she sleeps for SUCH LOOOOOOOONG hours already and doesn't need to faint... har har...
i'm mad. haix. dunno i'm mad or crazy or siao or all of the above... shit... what's with me. lucky i haven't start talking to myself. if not, cham... har har...
ooookay... i decided i was momentarily mad. now i'm okay. i'm half dying, talking to bei. that animal is so horrifyingly lame...
byby. =]
=/...
=(...
T_T...
ARRHHHHHH harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... o man o man... i don't care which uni. i only care WHAT course i do... and i have NO IDEA what i want for my future.
what's my interest? music. what else? how can i say i'm interested in retail, my parents will kill me sia... what else? sales? [sales, i can work as Managing Director of Market] i said marketing, but i dunno how to survive in it.
i only know how to study. shit lar. education in singapore only taught me to study. shit. thanks man.
stress... =/ 'm talking to mali [aka chan mali chan, aka may yee]... parents are our banks, so our future, since it depends on them, gotta be partially decided by them too... well... i shall wait till i am MY OWN BANK den i make my own sui-sui [anyhow, nice-nice] decision to study music.
tmr going out. watch superheroes. i hope i can cool down man. if not i think i'll drive bei nuts liao.
har har. talking to bei msn now. tmr we're going compasspoint in the afternoon [since today i didn't go, i wanna go tmr, see XieLi awhile, cos she called me today, said she's quite sad about sha-shou... den meet bei] for lunch, den go vivo, shop [i wanna buy my MNG top!!!], movie at 5 [ends about 6.20] den go home. =]yay...
bei said "(((:"... i was like, "HAR HAR u got hoo-zi" and i explained that it's actually "hu2-zi3"... funny lar... and she decided to faint, on msn, and so i told her stop fainting, since she sleeps for SUCH LOOOOOOOONG hours already and doesn't need to faint... har har...
i'm mad. haix. dunno i'm mad or crazy or siao or all of the above... shit... what's with me. lucky i haven't start talking to myself. if not, cham... har har...
ooookay... i decided i was momentarily mad. now i'm okay. i'm half dying, talking to bei. that animal is so horrifyingly lame...
byby. =]
uni-blues
went in to MDIS to look, as mum ordered...
o man. i'm so sad now. it's like SO many universities and i dunno if by taking anyone of them, other than the 3 local uni, i'd be less advantaged. its like, i dunno. being a university graduate and being a degree holder is totally different. it's difference is by that much of having campus life and pressures.
thinking about things, i dunno why i applied for business under sim-UOL when i hated accounting. i hate numbers already and u ask me do accounting. auditing sounds easy but it's so blardy difficult. mum told me to look into tourism and hospitality management. subsequently i also looked at marketing, which isn't so much of accounting.
=/ what's gonna happen to my music den. i still wanna learn violin/viola, i still wanna master my trombone, i still wanna do so many things... i'm so so sad...
arrg. i'm so sad. shit shit. shit. shit... =(
o man. i'm so sad now. it's like SO many universities and i dunno if by taking anyone of them, other than the 3 local uni, i'd be less advantaged. its like, i dunno. being a university graduate and being a degree holder is totally different. it's difference is by that much of having campus life and pressures.
thinking about things, i dunno why i applied for business under sim-UOL when i hated accounting. i hate numbers already and u ask me do accounting. auditing sounds easy but it's so blardy difficult. mum told me to look into tourism and hospitality management. subsequently i also looked at marketing, which isn't so much of accounting.
=/ what's gonna happen to my music den. i still wanna learn violin/viola, i still wanna master my trombone, i still wanna do so many things... i'm so so sad...
arrg. i'm so sad. shit shit. shit. shit... =(
tuesday dreams
hello world, good morning! =)
my cd player's on; i like this song:"Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness, opened my eyes, let me see. Beauty that made this heart adore You, hope of a life spent with you... Here i am to worship, here i am to bow down, here i am to say that You're my God. You're altogether lovely, altogether worthy, altogether wonderful to me... King of all days, oh so highly exalted, Glorious in heaven above, humbly You came to the earth You created. All for love's sake became poor. i'll never know how much it cost, to see my sin upon that cross." =) nice right... yay. =]
now: finished eating my ba-zhang.
later: probably go for lunch with dad if not get him to ta-pao back... den probably go to CMS to practice my piano. afterwhich i THINK i will pop by to compasspoint, to get my hp pouch. yay. den 'll go see if XieLi is working, and see if KY is still working =) [=/ after all the things sha-shou did between KY and me, it feels so weird to see him, even though i wanna be his friend, like talk and everything, it just feels weird, like, not the same as last time anymore... and i don't want him to think i'm interested in him, cos i just wanna be his friend, but it's so awkward, i can't be his friend in peace when sha-shou is around. shit lar. haix... o well, i leave this to God =) hehe].
bei was telling me to pls change my earrings, i don't see why lar. that woman [i mean, that animal]... hm, i dunno lar, i told her i want something simple but can be appropriate for all events [be it going out, dinner, go market, go piano, at home] and that i can sleep with, so probably have to be something with the ring type...
omg [baboon's best friend is attached!!! wahaha.]
i like this lyric: "Draw me close to You, never let me go. I lay it all down again, to hear You say that I'm Your friend... You're all i want, You're all i ever needed, You're all i want, help me know You are near..." yep. God, please draw me close to You... =]
o ya, and yesterday bei was telling me that she's nocturnal, so she's a bat, and so batman's her bf. HAR HAR HAR... omg, laugh man... hahaha...
last night: running with bei and sihui: we ran in the evening [sihui came at 8, bei reached at about 8.20]. surprisingly bei didn't bring her hp with her. haha. den we went to run, bei was like DANCING lar, not running... idiot. and sihui was like DYING... hahaha... i was WALKING beside them... HAR HAR HAR... i was suaning them all the way, and they kept saying they're thirsty and i kept telling them to jump into the river beside and just drink, no need to pay. hahaha. we finished 2.6 km [WA... 2.6 lei... say "WOW!!!" hahaha]... hahaha. den went up to my place, drink water, me and bei ate ice-cream, hahaha. den went into my room, talk about SR people, about when i first became close friends with bei and how i make her angry, etc. hahaha. talked till about 11, mum came to tell us time is late. den they left, i walked them to my house side-gate... den walked from car park [cos it was dark at the pool compound area, and when sihui asked if i'll be scared walking back alone, i thought, i have God with me, i shouldn't be afraid, den suddenly i was like, shit, i wish i have a bf den he can walk me back sia, so scary, in the dark and the place looked eerie cos it's like gonna rain]...
'm talking to alica, talked about marriage. hahaha. yeah, she's right, long way to go. but i really hope my next relationship will be better. a lasting one, faithful one, loyal one, that's all i want. =] hahaha. plus point will be if he's got ideal shape and height and whatever i want my prince charming to be. hahaha.
PRINCE CHARMING where are you[i like this: All i wanted is a white knight, with a good heart, soft touch, fast horse; run me off into the sunset, and Baby i'm YOURS!!! hahaha, so sweet right]... hahaha. i'm mad... alamak lar. yesterday sihui was saying that people say she's so boy, den like that i'm a man liao lar... and bei say people say she's fierce, sihui choked and said if that's the case then sihui'd be SO SCARY and i'd be a LEGENDARY HORRIFYING DRAGON. harhar... idiot lar... =]
okay. i sian liao. i'm gonna post this. so baboon can see. haha.
Au Revoir world!!! =] huggies world!!! =]
my cd player's on; i like this song:"Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness, opened my eyes, let me see. Beauty that made this heart adore You, hope of a life spent with you... Here i am to worship, here i am to bow down, here i am to say that You're my God. You're altogether lovely, altogether worthy, altogether wonderful to me... King of all days, oh so highly exalted, Glorious in heaven above, humbly You came to the earth You created. All for love's sake became poor. i'll never know how much it cost, to see my sin upon that cross." =) nice right... yay. =]
now: finished eating my ba-zhang.
later: probably go for lunch with dad if not get him to ta-pao back... den probably go to CMS to practice my piano. afterwhich i THINK i will pop by to compasspoint, to get my hp pouch. yay. den 'll go see if XieLi is working, and see if KY is still working =) [=/ after all the things sha-shou did between KY and me, it feels so weird to see him, even though i wanna be his friend, like talk and everything, it just feels weird, like, not the same as last time anymore... and i don't want him to think i'm interested in him, cos i just wanna be his friend, but it's so awkward, i can't be his friend in peace when sha-shou is around. shit lar. haix... o well, i leave this to God =) hehe].
bei was telling me to pls change my earrings, i don't see why lar. that woman [i mean, that animal]... hm, i dunno lar, i told her i want something simple but can be appropriate for all events [be it going out, dinner, go market, go piano, at home] and that i can sleep with, so probably have to be something with the ring type...
omg [baboon's best friend is attached!!! wahaha.]
i like this lyric: "Draw me close to You, never let me go. I lay it all down again, to hear You say that I'm Your friend... You're all i want, You're all i ever needed, You're all i want, help me know You are near..." yep. God, please draw me close to You... =]
o ya, and yesterday bei was telling me that she's nocturnal, so she's a bat, and so batman's her bf. HAR HAR HAR... omg, laugh man... hahaha...
last night: running with bei and sihui: we ran in the evening [sihui came at 8, bei reached at about 8.20]. surprisingly bei didn't bring her hp with her. haha. den we went to run, bei was like DANCING lar, not running... idiot. and sihui was like DYING... hahaha... i was WALKING beside them... HAR HAR HAR... i was suaning them all the way, and they kept saying they're thirsty and i kept telling them to jump into the river beside and just drink, no need to pay. hahaha. we finished 2.6 km [WA... 2.6 lei... say "WOW!!!" hahaha]... hahaha. den went up to my place, drink water, me and bei ate ice-cream, hahaha. den went into my room, talk about SR people, about when i first became close friends with bei and how i make her angry, etc. hahaha. talked till about 11, mum came to tell us time is late. den they left, i walked them to my house side-gate... den walked from car park [cos it was dark at the pool compound area, and when sihui asked if i'll be scared walking back alone, i thought, i have God with me, i shouldn't be afraid, den suddenly i was like, shit, i wish i have a bf den he can walk me back sia, so scary, in the dark and the place looked eerie cos it's like gonna rain]...
'm talking to alica, talked about marriage. hahaha. yeah, she's right, long way to go. but i really hope my next relationship will be better. a lasting one, faithful one, loyal one, that's all i want. =] hahaha. plus point will be if he's got ideal shape and height and whatever i want my prince charming to be. hahaha.
PRINCE CHARMING where are you[i like this: All i wanted is a white knight, with a good heart, soft touch, fast horse; run me off into the sunset, and Baby i'm YOURS!!! hahaha, so sweet right]... hahaha. i'm mad... alamak lar. yesterday sihui was saying that people say she's so boy, den like that i'm a man liao lar... and bei say people say she's fierce, sihui choked and said if that's the case then sihui'd be SO SCARY and i'd be a LEGENDARY HORRIFYING DRAGON. harhar... idiot lar... =]
okay. i sian liao. i'm gonna post this. so baboon can see. haha.
Au Revoir world!!! =] huggies world!!! =]
Monday, May 5, 2008
to alicia
just talked to alicia the baboon. she's stressed, her baby got into smu, she hasn't received any letter yet. don't fret girl [i mean, animal], God had a plan for all of us. and just leave your worries with God and things will go well. =] i pray for u, in Jesus' name that whatever His plans are for you, the Holy Spirit will be with you to give u comfort and guidance. i'm here for u ah... =] huggies. =)
love u loads [i'm trying. hahaha]...
love u loads [i'm trying. hahaha]...
photos!!! =]
yay photos photos!!!
sibei the mad person.
us in the toilet. too bad, it's not the executive toilet. hahaha.
sibei and stef's scarf. bei went mad. indie-style. hahaha.
sibei and her new hairstyle. and me suffering camera blues.
bei the ghost. HAHAHA.
bei's scarf advertisement.
water bottle advertisement.
sibei the mad person.
us in the toilet. too bad, it's not the executive toilet. hahaha.
sibei and stef's scarf. bei went mad. indie-style. hahaha.
sibei and her new hairstyle. and me suffering camera blues.
bei the ghost. HAHAHA.
bei's scarf advertisement.
water bottle advertisement.
3 days at work
yoyo... =]
heyo... i've been great man... updates summary...
work with bei and mildred and stefanie: at company called Boardroom: we do registra for AGMs and EGMs and SGMs etc... so it's like write down name of shareholder, number of shares, ic number, den get signature [had super fun]. it's like - go to work, take cab, meeting, eat at reception, take cab back, lunch break, take cab out, meeting, eat at reception, take cab back, wait for 5.30 [or till bei comes back] den we can leave. SUPER COOL sia. take cab here take cab there. wa lao. sweet life man. hahaha. my supervisor is Margeret and my Senior Manager is May, they're both super cute. i remembered 2nd day at work, Margeret grabbed my hand and we dashed across the road towards the OCBC building, scared the guts outta me - i was in heels lar wa lao eh. harhar. third day FINALLY get to work with bei at UOB meeting at Marina Mandrin. so cool lar the food there. kinda miss the job now, a pity it's only for a few days. hahaha, i got my $150 pay in cash - CASH man!!! - and a box of Royce chocolates from May, so sweet lar she, she told Margeret that i'm so sweet and guai. hahaha. YAY. =] only thing that wasn't so pleasant at work is people throw pamphlets at you just cos they're bu-shuang or what shit, and the heels that almost kill your feet since u gotta rush here and there so fast and we walk like we're running 2.4 napfa test.
yay. uncle siew loong and antie daphne gave me a Beautiful Worship CD and gave mei mei a thingy that u hang up, saying "The Lord is my Shephard ..."; so sweet ah... =]
and that bei got me hooked on sudoku, since i started on it on the 2nd day of work. hahaha. after that third day we went to eat at compass point and i used my pay to buy one book, the number 2 volume [yay, my favourite number. 2! =) wahaha]. den i bought an anklet [i intend to get another thingy to hang there, wth issit called. o ya, a pendant. shit me lar]. booked this hp pouch from the antie at compasspoint, gonna get it tues [that's tmr actually, YAY].
friday: cell group @ St. Paul Church: we started late i guess, cos they had to have dinner first since they're hungry, took a long time to eat, drag here there [actually i didn't notice lar, but i guess that's why we started late and ended SO late]. Alex led the ice-breaking and discussion, den went out to pray for each other [ruoping and sheena had to pray for each other and then me, since i didn't know how to pray for people, hahaha, i'm new lar] den we went back in to do closing prayers. ended at 11 plus man. i was shocked, 5 missed calls. i called and mum was like angry, she came to fetch me [sis told me wrong place and i had to cross back over to simon road from heartland mall side] den was like fuming silently in the car. i didn't apologise, cos i didn't think it's my fault that they ended late. went to sleep, woke up hungry [at like 1 am] and went to eat cookies with chocolate milk [wa lao, so pathetic lar].
saturday: at home: so sian lar. waste my time. sis went to SR musical. about evening, went gramma's house. sis was there after musical already. super hot day. SCORCHING hot.
sunday: BK breakfast at compasspoint: i ate the bacon thingy. den went off. i went toilet den popped by at bossini to see ex-colleagues, den i went off towards church. i was early. saw jinrong, pastor gary, yan hao and this guy lionel there talking. i told jinrong about the sim acceptance letter i got, dunno what to do etc. she asked about my CCA thing, she was from PL band under Mr Tan BW too [so cool right. hahaha, small world] and she said wow when i told her i was student conductor [-.-], den she told me lionel, he's sec 4, is a euphoniun player, i was like, oh i see. went in, had service, joseph was there and etc etc. i saw sharleen, alone again, i dunno why. den rachel and jasmine and pauline and 2 new guys. leon was like on time for service. sheena that woman never come, pangseh me. hahaha... lunch with church friends: went to eat at the place they call 7-11, apparently it's this coffee shop near 7-11. den rachel asked me to study with them later, help them with lit and math and art. den this Abel, a tall guy [that i got not-so-good impression of], said something about HIHS [WTH LAR say my school lousy, that asshole, stupid male chauvenist pig] and rachel told me, i was like GLARE-at-him. found out he's from SA, so fine lor. him, clement or whomever and the benson guy [who kept passing the basketball to me when we played, at my first time at church] were the SA gang and hung out with Sharleen and heard some unpleasant stuff. hmmm. well. not new to me lar. rachel had hard time looking for place at Mac, so i told her, tell Sharleen we go church study, if she don't want or she scold you pass the phone to me. and done deal. [i'm so pro] we went back to church, study. Sharleen came back like so late and was with the Clement guy, [seebeh act cool] Sharleen was like showing off her beginner skills at keyboard canon in c, so i totally chu-jue-zhao [that means to show my expertise, wahaha, i'm so horrible] and i told her how many thousand mistakes she made [but seriously she totally had zero sense of rhythm lar, i think even polar bears can play better than her], in front of her Clement, den i played for her, perfecto. HAHAHA [yay for me].
helped rachel with art, i read the lit text but too bad no time to teach. i had to go off. ruth had headache, vomit out water in the morning. den i went off, dinner with family at kovan coffee shop, buy bread den go home.
went down to walk, one whole family, i missed my marching so so so so so [SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO] much... i test sis on her bio while walking. haiya, why didn't i get to see my shuai-ge running. [=/]
anyway, i'm gonna post the pictures that we took at work later. i go for lunch now. =]
Au Revoir!
=] byby.
heyo... i've been great man... updates summary...
work with bei and mildred and stefanie: at company called Boardroom: we do registra for AGMs and EGMs and SGMs etc... so it's like write down name of shareholder, number of shares, ic number, den get signature [had super fun]. it's like - go to work, take cab, meeting, eat at reception, take cab back, lunch break, take cab out, meeting, eat at reception, take cab back, wait for 5.30 [or till bei comes back] den we can leave. SUPER COOL sia. take cab here take cab there. wa lao. sweet life man. hahaha. my supervisor is Margeret and my Senior Manager is May, they're both super cute. i remembered 2nd day at work, Margeret grabbed my hand and we dashed across the road towards the OCBC building, scared the guts outta me - i was in heels lar wa lao eh. harhar. third day FINALLY get to work with bei at UOB meeting at Marina Mandrin. so cool lar the food there. kinda miss the job now, a pity it's only for a few days. hahaha, i got my $150 pay in cash - CASH man!!! - and a box of Royce chocolates from May, so sweet lar she, she told Margeret that i'm so sweet and guai. hahaha. YAY. =] only thing that wasn't so pleasant at work is people throw pamphlets at you just cos they're bu-shuang or what shit, and the heels that almost kill your feet since u gotta rush here and there so fast and we walk like we're running 2.4 napfa test.
yay. uncle siew loong and antie daphne gave me a Beautiful Worship CD and gave mei mei a thingy that u hang up, saying "The Lord is my Shephard ..."; so sweet ah... =]
and that bei got me hooked on sudoku, since i started on it on the 2nd day of work. hahaha. after that third day we went to eat at compass point and i used my pay to buy one book, the number 2 volume [yay, my favourite number. 2! =) wahaha]. den i bought an anklet [i intend to get another thingy to hang there, wth issit called. o ya, a pendant. shit me lar]. booked this hp pouch from the antie at compasspoint, gonna get it tues [that's tmr actually, YAY].
friday: cell group @ St. Paul Church: we started late i guess, cos they had to have dinner first since they're hungry, took a long time to eat, drag here there [actually i didn't notice lar, but i guess that's why we started late and ended SO late]. Alex led the ice-breaking and discussion, den went out to pray for each other [ruoping and sheena had to pray for each other and then me, since i didn't know how to pray for people, hahaha, i'm new lar] den we went back in to do closing prayers. ended at 11 plus man. i was shocked, 5 missed calls. i called and mum was like angry, she came to fetch me [sis told me wrong place and i had to cross back over to simon road from heartland mall side] den was like fuming silently in the car. i didn't apologise, cos i didn't think it's my fault that they ended late. went to sleep, woke up hungry [at like 1 am] and went to eat cookies with chocolate milk [wa lao, so pathetic lar].
saturday: at home: so sian lar. waste my time. sis went to SR musical. about evening, went gramma's house. sis was there after musical already. super hot day. SCORCHING hot.
sunday: BK breakfast at compasspoint: i ate the bacon thingy. den went off. i went toilet den popped by at bossini to see ex-colleagues, den i went off towards church. i was early. saw jinrong, pastor gary, yan hao and this guy lionel there talking. i told jinrong about the sim acceptance letter i got, dunno what to do etc. she asked about my CCA thing, she was from PL band under Mr Tan BW too [so cool right. hahaha, small world] and she said wow when i told her i was student conductor [-.-], den she told me lionel, he's sec 4, is a euphoniun player, i was like, oh i see. went in, had service, joseph was there and etc etc. i saw sharleen, alone again, i dunno why. den rachel and jasmine and pauline and 2 new guys. leon was like on time for service. sheena that woman never come, pangseh me. hahaha... lunch with church friends: went to eat at the place they call 7-11, apparently it's this coffee shop near 7-11. den rachel asked me to study with them later, help them with lit and math and art. den this Abel, a tall guy [that i got not-so-good impression of], said something about HIHS [WTH LAR say my school lousy, that asshole, stupid male chauvenist pig] and rachel told me, i was like GLARE-at-him. found out he's from SA, so fine lor. him, clement or whomever and the benson guy [who kept passing the basketball to me when we played, at my first time at church] were the SA gang and hung out with Sharleen and heard some unpleasant stuff. hmmm. well. not new to me lar. rachel had hard time looking for place at Mac, so i told her, tell Sharleen we go church study, if she don't want or she scold you pass the phone to me. and done deal. [i'm so pro] we went back to church, study. Sharleen came back like so late and was with the Clement guy, [seebeh act cool] Sharleen was like showing off her beginner skills at keyboard canon in c, so i totally chu-jue-zhao [that means to show my expertise, wahaha, i'm so horrible] and i told her how many thousand mistakes she made [but seriously she totally had zero sense of rhythm lar, i think even polar bears can play better than her], in front of her Clement, den i played for her, perfecto. HAHAHA [yay for me].
helped rachel with art, i read the lit text but too bad no time to teach. i had to go off. ruth had headache, vomit out water in the morning. den i went off, dinner with family at kovan coffee shop, buy bread den go home.
went down to walk, one whole family, i missed my marching so so so so so [SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO] much... i test sis on her bio while walking. haiya, why didn't i get to see my shuai-ge running. [=/]
anyway, i'm gonna post the pictures that we took at work later. i go for lunch now. =]
Au Revoir!
=] byby.
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God still is the answer.
why i don't give up on me - my heavenly Father
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